No Man's Land Weekly Blog -- Bumps in the Road

[SarahP]

We do this blog every Wednesday afternoon to offer encouragement to those in No Man’s Land -- months 2-3-4 of a quit, give or take a couple of weeks. This community has chosen to put a big, bright spotlight on NML – we’ve chased away the shadows, taken away the mystery, and put a lot of effort into bringing people in NML together. Because we understand that quitting isn’t over in a month.

Everyone who goes through NML blazes a trail for those that follow. You are not alone on this journey, and you never will be!

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This week’s topic: Bumps in the Road

New quitters are generally advised to live in the moment – to get through this one day, this one hour, this one minute. New quitters live craving to craving, with all their focus and energy spent on not smoking. This is how it should be, how it has to be, for a brand new quit.

But what about a month later? Two months later? You can’t keep up that kind of intensity forever. That’s what No Man’s Land is all about – the transition away from quitting and back to living your life. This can be a surprisingly challenging transition.

One of the keys to this transition is to step out of that moment-to-moment focus and start looking at the big picture again. One bad day, one stressful situation, one flat tire, one bounced check, one bit of bad news, no matter how bad, it’s all part of the big picture of your life. Bad things happen, whether you smoke or not. And smoking doesn’t make bad things get better. We all know this, but NML is when you have to go from “knowing” to “doing”. 

Keep your head up, keep your eyes forward, and keep moving! Those bumps in the road are just that – bumps. Not roadblocks. Don’t dwell on one bad day, one bad thought. Keep the big picture in mind, the journey, and you will see that bumps may be unpleasant but they don’t have to knock you off course.

Quitting is a journey, not an event. Do you know what road you’re on?  

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If you're in NML right now, speak up!  Tell us how you're doing! 

Click here to read the original No Man’s Land blog on Dale's page:
https://excommunity.becomeanex.org/blogs/jonescarp.aka.dale.Jan_2007-blog/2011/05/24/no-mans-land-da...

[jonilou]

Sarah! I'm always so happy to see you! Yes, at 45 days, I'm in this oasis they call No Man's Land. It is such an EXciting place to be! I'm finally learning to live life on it's own terms, without using smoking as a crutch. Challenging, but so doable. Thank you for this. I hope all my fellow NML travelers will read it too! 

[jonilou]

Oops, 46 days! Yay!

[carloprivitera]

35 days! Just entered NML and I'm still working on it.

It's a nice and challenging roller coaster.

I realized more than once that I spend hours and hours in my day without even thinking about smoking.

I do remember the first weeks where the cigarette was my only thought 24/7 and all my energy was there to control the cravings and the big crisis.

Today on the opposite I don't think about it. If I'm busy at work, sometimes I look back and I discover that I didn't think about it for 5 or 6 hours: unbelievable.

Slowly they are not part of my mind and my thoughts anymore.

And then ... I spend a tough evening: all alone at home and here we are: back at the beginning with a couple of really terrible hours.

Are those hours linked to my need of smoking? Not at all!!! I had a bad moment for completely different reasons and the cigarettes won't make it any better ... it's only my brain that somehow thinks that I was managing those moments a little bit better because of those cigarettes.

It will take time ... I know! I need to re-train my brain of every simple thing of my life and I'm really happy of my journey and I don't want to go back ... for no reason!!!

Carlo

[Lisaml]

Timely message, for me. I'm day 51 and kind of down the past day and really trying to ramp up the reading, learning to reinforce my quit. 

The "drama" of the first month was exhausting. I've been pretty happy, but now that this is "real", and I've truly quit, I miss it. Sigh. I read these posts and they could be me talking. The "just one" and romantisizing the smoke.... I know I have to accept that I may not have one, they travel in packs, etc... 

perhhaps this is just part of the "grieving" process. 

😉 time will heal.