New to EX

[Raven12]

Greetings,

I have been an active smoker since the age of 12 and will celebrate my 58th birthday in January and not too happy about it at all.  I found this site and thus far have been delighted with the compassion and kindness shown by other members.  It is a comfort to know that there are others out there that can help.  I have been looking at my triggers and by far the most toxic to me are other peoples beahviors/attitudes also tailgate drivers.  I have zero tolerance for insensitvie self involved folk and because I encounter so many people in this little town--I work in the tourism industry--I can easily become frustrated and stressed.  The area I live is most pristine and when I see the area and its' community members disrespected I simply melt down and smoke.  Tuesday was my day off and had a most delightful day--at home working on paths for this winters' snowshoeing trails.  I only smoked 3 cigarettes but on the following day I smoked like a chimney--an increase in traffic, disrespectful folk iin the grocery line, misbehaving children unatteded by there parents etc.  I know I can not change others' behaviors but I just can't seem to get past why some folk would want to make life difficult for others--the ME, ME, ME--the because I can folk-- disturb me greatly.  I have been told I'am a rather selfless person trying so hard to make the world a better place that I just can't relate to so many who do not seem to have the same attitude.  I also have an extremely demanding mother who takes everything I do for her for granted.  I will be trying hard to get this monkey off my back--the only bad vice I now carry around.  It is hard to do things just for me.  My quit date is the 14th of October--on the 15th of October I have made an appointment with my accupunturist to have my ears tagged.  So at least I feel I'am moving in the right direction.  I have not had so many nuts, carrots, celery or apples in the house for a very long time.  Whew--I hope this works--I want to live for a long time and coming from a fellow who has dealt with major depression for most of his life that is saying something.  Thanks to one and all who will be willing to support me in this rather trying endeavor.  Raven

[Sammy.J]

Hi Raven,

Glad to have you on this site and welcome. Congrats on you decision to quit. Please go to dales's page and start reading.

jonescarp aka dale (1-2007)

[Barbara145]

You are in the right place.  It will be a journey but my guess is that stopping smoking will help your anger and your depression.  It did mine.  It will take awhile on this journey but speaking for myself at almost i year, I am becoming a better person.  We are here for you.

[LouiseR]

Welcome Raven.  You will find that this site and the people are amazing and so helpful.  Read all you can.  The best place to start is what Sammy above said, go to jonescarp aka dale.  So very glad you found us!

[YoungAtHeart]

Welcome to our community!

The most important thing you can do right now is to educate yourself on what nicotine does to your body and mind. To that end, I highly recommend Allen Carr's “The Easy Way to Stop Smoking.” This is an easy and entertaining read. Here is a link to a free PDF version of it:

http://media.wix.com/ugd/74fa87_2010cc5496521431188f905b7234a829.pdf

As well, read the sections on this site, and read the blogs, responses and pages of folks you think might be helpful. You might visit whyquit.com and quitsmokingonline.com for the good information contained there.  Do the tracking and separation exercises outlined on this site.

After you have done the reading and exercises, it will be time to make an informed decision on what quit aid, if any, you will use.  You should also make your quit kit which can include your list of reasons you want to quit, another list of distracting activities that you think will work for you in different situations (taking a walk; taking slow, deep breaths -also good for calming stress! - doing jumping jacks, playing a computer game, doing a crossword puzzle...),  sugar-free gum, flavored toothpicks, cinnamon sticks, straws cut into pieces to chew on, lollipops, etc.

We are glad you are here!    Stay close to us; ask questions as you have them and for support when you need it. We will be with you every step of the way.

Nancy

[sparky26]

Welcome Raven , glad your hear , congratulations on your decision to quit smoking.You can do this and we are here to help all we can.

[andreakay]

Also, focus on what the elders tell you... The love and support here, the advice.. Is all amazing.. Know that they mean it when they say, they (we) are here for you!! It is a journey that I couldn't face alone and somehow stumbled upon this site..

[Jennifer-Quit]

When I started my journey 141 days ago, I did not really believe that I would make it.  But thanks to this site and the people here, I have made it this far!  Do as everyone recommends - and educate yourself about this horrible addiction.  If you know what to expect, then it isn't as scary!  Wishing you all the best!

[Connie55]

One thing you will really love about quitting is the PEACE OF MIND and TRANQUILITY you will find after nicotine no longer has a hold on you. It is hard to believe that addiction causes such turmoil and discontent in the mind! Many of the things that you mention that bother you now will likely seem much less important or bothersome once you are free. Come join us! We can help!

[moody_9-18-13]

366 Days ago, I smoked my last cigarette.  I read everything I could get my hands on about how to quit successfully, but the one thing ONLY I could do was make that promise to ME to care more about my life and keep my promise to not let another cigarette touch my lips, NO MATTER WHAT.  

My quit journey has been one of major self discovery.  I am much calmer and actually a lot more caring toward others since I quit smoking.  It really didn't take too long before I began to notice I could relax because I wasn't always thinking about when I could go smoke again.  I also believe we stuff our true feelings down inside by using toxic smoke and nicotine poured into our lungs, so we never really learn normal coping skills. 

I recommend you read the blogs of people you think you might learn from.  Go to their homepage and go back to their first blogs when they too were just learning how to live a life FREE from addiction.  Keep close here, get to know people, make friends, ask questions, there really will be a supportive hand lent anytime you need it. Welcome, so glad you found the keys to a lifetime of freedom that can be yours too. 

[Raven12]

Thanks to all for giving me feedback.  This fellow is not very computer literate so I find myself trying to teach myself how to navigate and be more aware of computer technology--at least to do so I must be inside.  I have a PC and do not smoke inside my house so as long as I continue to learn and to read the insights of others I don't smoke.  Also there is great incentive from all the good folk at EX.  So please know that I appreciate everyones comments even though you may not hear from me individually right away.  I have always found the computer rather spooky but if I use it as a productive tool it is starting to feel OK--not great but I will get better at the worry of putting things out there.  My computer was hacked about a month ago and my debit card compromised at the same time.  I have only had a computer in my home now for about 3 years and although I was a wizard on my computer at my old job--it was a medical program I used for documentating notes and had nothing to do with me personally.  I am just such a private person and sometimes I just have a hard time letting others into my world but also recognize that to grow and get rid of this horrible habit I must share and allow people in.  Anyhoo--thanks to everyone on this sight and good luck to all you dear souls who are working hard to kick.  Cheers to all. 

[joyeuxencore]

Hello new friend!

You said:

“The area I live is most pristine and when I see the area and its' community members disrespected I simply meltdown”

My first thought was that YOU are the ‘area’ you live in that needs pristine and perhaps that is why you instinctively repel the behavior in others. I had a therapist years ago who very annoyingly would tell me:

“You SPOT what you GOT”

Just a thought…Also please know that nicotine addiction will use any or everything to find a reason to feed.

You have found a community of 24/7 support and we have been through it all. Do all the suggested reading, get a quit kit together & welcome to your awesome new life. xo

Favorite posts from friends:

https://excommunity.becomeanex.org/blogs/SkyGirl-blog/2013/11/11/preparing-for-your-quit-two-lists-a...

https://excommunity.becomeanex.org/blogs/SkyGirl-blog/2013/03/07/skygirl-broken-record  

[Raven12]

How true , How true.  Thank you so very much for the insight.  Somehow I just forgot about me.  I find that this journey I have begun is helping to make me feel more empowered--stronger somehow.  Years ago when I quit drinking there was a quote--"To thine own self be true"--it took me a very , very long time to understand that because the word "self" was involved.  I just couldn't connect with the idea of self and even today I have issues with self-value.  You are so kind to send me your wisdaom--and such a beautiful photograph.  Lovely--thanks again.  Raven