I remember when I met you. I didn't like you at first but I was 13 and very awkward. I couldn't find a place because we moved around a lot and you helped me to make friends wherever we went. I tried the marijuana and alcohol but didn't like them - you were the one.
I relied on you, really relied on you and you were there for everything. Through moving, break ups, fights with family and friends, with my coffee in the morning, a glass of wine at night - every time that I needed you. I remember when my mom died and I couldn't eat or sleep, you were there. I really thought that you were my friend.
But, you're not, you know? You tricked me, you crept with your steadfast reliability and comforted me, made me feel whole and accepted and all that time you were stealing my will and trampling my body. I've tried, in the past, to leave you behind but you always beg me to come back and your there telling me that we belong together, that it will be okay. It is not okay. You won't be happy until I'm dead and I have no intention of giving that to you.
Your hurting me and I won't let you do it anymore. This is my body. This is my life. Not yours. None of it is yours. I won't give it to you anymore. You know, this is hard for me - I'm crying and feeling angst but I am not sorry. You don't get me back.
Sure, I have this angst but it's not what I used to think it was. I've been lied to and manipulated for over 25 years. YOU have lied to me JUST so that you can make me sick. That breaks my heart. You can't use me anymore.
I am happy to be a quitter now. Good Bye.
