Description
I am 63 yrs. old and have smoked since I was about 15. Both my parents smoked and I started so I could "appear" older. I was hooked very quickly and subconciously realised something was not right but ignored it. I've always been a pro-smoker and been furious over the governments interference eg. smoking bans etc. I've smoked 40/50 a day for many years
I'd been diagnosed with artherial sclerosis in my legs about 7 years ago and been told to give up smoking, I didn't even try as I'd decided it was totally out of the question. During a holiday in Sept 2009 my right leg kept going numb and I really panicked and thought that's it, I'll have to have my leg off so I'll try and stop. I re-read Allen Carrs Easyway but could'nt quite 'get it' but took on board the addiction and futility of it, but I decided to go down the patch and inhalator route as I was so frightened of cold turkey. Had a massive panic attack before I put the patch on, so I put it on the night before and started the long road of slowly cutting down, also anti-depressants to calm the awful adrenaline rushes. I dragged it out for far too long though, and instead of a few days of discomfort I had 4 months of drawn out withdrawal.
What finally did it for me was finding this site and given a hearty kickup the behind and quit all aids. The final irony is the peculiar numbness is maybe due to a trapped nerve in my back.
QuitMeter Counter courtesy of www.quitmeter.com.
This is my most powerful reason not to smoke.
Picture yourself a second or two after you stub out that quit-breaking cigarette. The one that you just had to have because the craving was so strong you couldn't hold out any longer, when that voice inside you was saying - "Go on, life sucks, you may as well smoke a cig.. you know.. for your nerves - " or the other voice.. "you've got this beat now.. you are in control.. you can have one just now and again.. go on have one for old time's sake.." So you bum a cigarette, and smoke it and in 2 and 1/2 minutes, you stub it out.
Now what. Your mouth feels like crap. Your lungs are tightening up. You managed to stifle the coughs .. but barely. You began to squint again because the smoke hurt your eyes. and your fingers and clothes smell again. You either want to throw up, grab some mouthwash, take a shower, or have another.. maybe buy a pack.
But then you realize what you've just done. After all those times when you said you were going to quit, and then when you finally did, and your family and friends were so happy for you - but not exactly over the moon, because after all they've been hopeful before only to see you relapse - all that enthusiasm is now smashed to pieces on the floor. And all the pressure that drove you to grab that cigarette in the first place - it's all still there. Nothing has changed, except now you've added one more problem: you just blew it.
And then you realize what you've really done. You had invested days, maybe weeks and months, in this quit. You had made a great decision, one of the few things you really and truly felt proud of in your life, and you just blew it. You just blew the quit that you swore to yourself was the last one. You were so positive, so motivated, and encouraged, you were really on top of it, ahead of the game for once, you had taken control of your life and it felt like a whole new beginning.. and you just blew it.
You look at that stub in the ashtray. The grey ash and the brown edge to the burnt paper, and the tar stain on the end of filter. You remember the thousands of cigarettes you have stubbed out and think about the tar that came into your lungs as smoke. And you think if smoking that one cigarette was worth it. Nothing's better. You feel a little dizzy now as the nicotine hits your body, even a little nauseous - certainly don't feel the pleasure that you remember the adverts and billboards were promoting during your early years as a smoker. In fact it's hard to remember any time when you felt that pleasure.. just another tobacco company lie.. They helped you to become an addict the first time, but when you smoked that cigarette after you quit.. well that was a whole new decision. You made that one all by yourself - there's no pointing fingers now, you know that cigarettes kill, so when you lit that one cigarette, the choice to smoke was all yours - no-one else to blame. And you just blew it.
It wasn't worth it.. time after time the slippers and relapsers lament how they feel like crap, how ashamed they are, how they have lost confidence and hope, how they hate themselves, how much it hurts, how depressed and they cry and hide and cry some more. And now you are one of them.. the quit losers. Lost in the wilderness, not quite a smoker.. yet and not sure you are a quitter, searching for some dignity, some self-respect out of this. All because of that one cigarette. Because you blew it.
OK, time to come back.. thankfully this was a "Picture yourself..." so none of this really happened. You didn't smoke that cigarette, and your quit is intact. You take a deep breath and you can still fill your lungs without breaking down into a hacking cough. You can smile, because you are still in control. The craving passes and you can shake your head a little and give yourself a little pat on the back at your success. You remained true the promise you made to yourself on day one. Because none of this really happened.
Did it ?
Author Unknown
Remember this from hwc.
So, if you are afraid of that feeling of desperation, then you should be excited to quit smoking because it's the only way that you will never, ever feel that pang of desperation again. On the other hand, you could go ahead and light up, right now. Just one. It'll stop that pang of desperation in eight seconds when the nicotine hits your brain. Unfortunately, there's a catch. It also guarantees that the pang of desperation will return in 45 minutes. And, return again and again as you live all day, every day, for your entire life going from one desperate pang to the next, never able to make it stop, and having the rearrange your entire life just to serve as a slave to those pangs of desperation.
So, are you really afraid of those pangs of desperation? If you are, then throw the cigarettes away.
Another gem from Peggy, my heroine.
Remember, smoking doesn’t relieve the cravings… it actually CAUSES them. I learned what I want for all of you to understand... that wanting the craving to go away is definitely NOT the same thing as wanting a cigarette.
Inspirational .
The Victor
Poet: C.W. Longenecker
If you think you are beaten, you are.
If you think you dare not, you don’t
If you like to win but think you can’t,
It’s almost a cinch you won’t.
If you think you’ll lose, you’re lost.
For out in the world we find
Success begins with a fellow’s will
It’s all in the state of mind.
If you think you are outclassed, you are.
You’ve got to think high to rise.
You’ve got to be sure of yourself before
You can ever win the prize.
Life’s battles don’t always go
To the stronger or faster man.
But sooner or later, the man who wins
Is the man who thinks he can.
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Brief Description
Been married 43 years, no kids, they never came along,2cats and 1 dog.We live in a small village.
Website
No website in profile.
Location
South-east England
Interests
cats, gentle gardening, Arty things, cooking
Skills
http://www.freeflashtoys.com/?myspace-countdown-clocks
http://www.freeflashtoys.com/?myspace-countdown-clocksMake your own Countdown Clocks
