Life.....Interrupted.

[kris54]

http://whyquit.com/whyquit/linksaaddiction.html

I'm sure one of our highly informed EX-perts have posted this link from WhyQuit...... but its called Addiction 101.  I hadn't read this article before.... and it is written in laymans terms...and its shocking.  It tells it like it is about nocotine addiction.  I guess I needed to read this today.

I am strong in my quit.  My resolve and committment are FOREVER.   However....... The cigarette is being romanced.  Not by me..... God no...... but by the parts of my 'involuntary thinking' process.  The place where the ugly and bad thoughts come from........ the places that conjure up thoughts that hurt and scare me.  The kind that I push away... deep inside of me.  The kind of thoughts that make me sing silly songs...outloud.... just to crowd them out with happy thngs.

I'm not sure why now.. this is happening.  60 days and I am proud of myself.  I will never put a cigarette to my lips again.  I know better and I care about myself too much.  But I am definately 'feeling' the vast emptiness of No Man's Land.  It seems like a place in your quit.... where the memories of smoking are still in color..... not quite alive .... but still in the slightly fading color of pleasure.  Not in black and white yet.  Not yet faded and old.  I can't deny my feelings..... I am facing them...and dealing with them.  I hated smoking..... in all ways..... but I still have memories of the pleasure it made me feel.  Sickening...... stinky....unhealthy pleasure.

I have lost many battles in my lifetime....... but this war....... I have won.

[jojo_2-24-11]

Hi Kris, don't suppress these feelings, laugh at them. Let them out  and laugh away. I did this so much in the beginning my face hurt, but I needed it to be done. I needed to get rid of all the ridiculousness of the addict thinking. You know what you want and you are taking it, CONTROL of your life!

[Newfound_Joy]

You are truly doing great by admitting your feelings and talking it out.  You are most definitely in NML, and it must be faced on a daily basis to get to the other side.

In my early quit, I found that I took myself much too seriously!  Like Jojo says, LAUGH!!  Laugh outloud at the silliness of your thoughts.  When I had a conscious thought in my head of how good a cigarette would be........no matter where I was I said outloud "GO AWAY!!"  I don't care if people looked at me strange in the grocery isle.  I said it over and over again.  Your subconscious mind will listen to you.

You are a WINNER, Kris.  I promise you it will get better and easier.

NOPE

NEF

[Mike.n.Atlanta]

You are doing great Kris & there are so many who come through here that don’t make a day. So be very proud of what you’ve done so far.

No man’s land to me Kris was that time that my quit felt no longer new. I felt in a rut & questioned my abilities to maintain my quit. I had no real plan as to my quit only to tough it out no matter what came at me. I really didn’t wanna look ahead because up to that time I had taken it one day/hour/minute at a time. Looking back I guess I should have had some plan to carry me on. I did & still do get some of my enthusiasm back by reading as many newbie posts as I could. Their enthusiasm is so contagious as was yours in the beginning. You gave me new life for my quit & I’m thankful for that. You gave me the opportunity to hopefully help you through that first month. When I’m doing that I don’t think about my quit at all. That’s why I’m here. It’s purely selfish but then I’m an addict & we’re a selfish lot. I don’t think I could have continued without this kind of contact. There are too many obstacles that would have tripped me had I not had the support of you all. And if I fell I don’t think I could get up.

Yeah NML is a tough time but you just gotta be creative in how you handle it. Do things a little different or come from a different angle. That’s how I came up with ND. It is frustrating & we feel empty but there are so many things to fill that void. I know you’ll find what you need.

Congratulations on a healthy TWO month quit.

M n @

[nick55]

I feel like the hole left after quiiting has to be filled with true confidence on my part, not the false confidence that my packet of cigarettes gave me ... Well done you for your 60 days,

[robin122]

Congrats to you on 60 days.  you are doing great and will continue to do great.  Have a great day!!!

[Strudel]

Kris - Thanks for the page - I hadn't seen that before.

Your description of "in color" vs "black and white" is great!!

Congrats on 60 days!

Your description of the thoughts and singing silly songs reminds me of the story Sheryl posted here when I first quit - I still remember this old lady facing her demons - check it out if you haven't seen it before - it is called "Sitting with Feeelings" - From Sheryl:

"The following story is taken from Victoria Moran's book, The Love-Powered Diet: Eating for Freedom, Health and Joy.  Moran talks about sitting with feelings so that you don't overeat or eat unconsciously.  I think the story also applies to learning to sit with cravings when a person is quitting smoking.

Long ago there lived a woman who believed that her house was possessed by demons.  She called on the local priest to exorcise them.  The priest performed the proper rites, but within a week the woman was again at the rectory gate.  "My house is once more possessed," she cried.  The priest performed the ritual a second time and instructed his parishioner to return home.

Not a day had passed before the woman beseeched him a third time to cleanse her house.  This request the good father refused.  "The terrors that alarm you," he told her, " are less within the walls of your house than within those of your mind.  You must confront these spirits yourself."

"But won't you give me something to help, a vial of holy water or a sacred crucifix?" the woman pleaded.

"I will give you something," the priest replied.  " I will give you a holy stool."  He took from the corner a simple wooden hassock.  It didn't look particularly holy, but the woman took it nonetheless.  When she entered her house, demons abounded from cellar to loft.

"I am lost," she thought.  "Even with this holy stool as a weapon, I could never fight them all."  She sat on the stool to await her fate, but the instant she was comfortably seated, the demons disappeared.  The woman was convinced from that day forward that the cleric's gift indeed bore divine power.  The priest, however, knew that the demons departed simply because she had been willing to sit with them.  And he missed his favorite footstool for the rest of his life."

Sheryl then wrote - "When I began this quit, I was terrified of how quitting was going to make me feel.  It didn't seem to me that I could deal with my emotions or the stress of my life without cigarettes.  People on this site talked me down through the wisdom of their blogs and comments.  I quit cold turkey, something I had long believed (falsely) that I couldn't do.  Amazingly,  I was able to sit with the cravings and not cave into them.  I could wait them out.  Over time, the cravings got weaker until now they have all but disappeared.  What's left is a faint memory of smoking.  So what I am telling you is to sit with the cravings and see what you learn.  Perhaps your cravings will disappear like mine did,and like the woman's demons.  You are more powerful than you think."

Take care Kris! You are doing great!!!

[Patty-cake]

Hi Kris,

I'm right behind you with 43 days under my belt. What Mike n @lanta said about No Man's Land starting when his quit no longer felt new, seems to be right on the money, at least for me.

In the beginning, it was good enough just to quit. As I look ahead, I'm seeing No Man's Land right in front of me. I, also, am realizing that I have to find more solid replacements to fill that void, not just carrot sticks or taking walks.

I try to remember that new self-empowerment feeling that I initially felt when I first quit (The Honeymoon). The feeling that I could do just anything I put my mind to. With that in mind, I find myself doing things that I wouldn't normally do. Example, My husband and I went out last night,  usually I'm a spectator, but instead I went on the dance floor. (I have more endurance now, more energy). So I find myself getting involved in activities, instead of watching from a distance. At the same time, I had to deal with watching outdoor smokers. But I did notice, those smokers did not get on the dance floor!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

So anyway, I'm hoping to take this same attitude in my career and other areas in my life. Easier said than done. But if there's a will, there's a way!

I find strength in reading your blogs. Thanks for sharing.

[luliper]

Hi Kris,

I just read nicotine addiction 101. Thank you for posting. My best wishes are with you as you travel through NML. I am just starting out there now. Thanks for your insights and observations. Hang in there...all the best to you! 

[Ex_Nancy]

I'm so glad you put your thoughts out here so you can vent and get advice too, AND also happy that you found "ADDICTION 101" from whyquit.com.....here is another about the brainwashing from whyquit.com...xoxo    http://www.whyquit.com/whyquit/A_NicodemonsLies.html