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Share your quitting journey

Learning How to Pass It Forward

Giulia
Member
6 20 362

There was a guy in a truck next to me in the Walmart parking lot this afternoon.  When I was taking the 5 quart bottle of engine oil I'd purchased out of my cart (buggy for you southerners) into my car I slightly hit it against his truck.  I hadn't really noticed his truck at all, just that there was something next to me.  After placing it in my car, I turned back to see if there was anybody in the vehicle.  And there was, (window open, smoking in the driver's seat) so I just said "Sorry."  He acknowledged it and said it was an old beat-up truck and it didn't matter, just as long as I was ok.  I said it was only a soft plastic jug, so it probably didn't do any damage.  He again said something to the effect that it wasn't a problem, it was an old truck and reiterated as long as I was ok.   I found that really curious.  "As long as I was ok."  Am still left to try to understand that.

I noticed he was smoking a cigarette.  Had a couple of teeth missing.  I pondered whether to ask him if he ever wanted to quit.  I thought - what the hell, what have I got to lose.  I'm always afraid to ask "have you ever wanted to quit smoking?"   to strangers.  As a former smoker I know how I would immediately SHUT OFF and go into protective mode when anyone mentioned quitting.  But I've still got some of these EX cards left and just took the chance.

And I asked him "You ever want to quit smoking?"  He immediately  said he wished he could quit.  He has COPD.  Had conquered - I THINK he said - the drinking addiction.  Said he picked up drinking and cigarettes in the service.  This was his last thing to overcome.  I asked him if he had internet.  He said he did.  I said, "I want to give you something."  And I went into my car and found one last EX card.  I wrote my name on it.  I said, "This is a great quit site.  It's helped a lot of people.  I smoked for 35 years a pack and a half a day.  You CAN quit.  Just check it out if you want.  And that's my name on the site.  If you do show up, just give me a shout."  He took it and thanks me.

I was so elated and excited to find what seemed to be an open receptor there.  And I couldn't shut up.  I turned back and said, "You know, I still love the smell of a cigarette."  I was trying to tell him, I GET IT!  And I said "You know, it's so hard, because you don't want to turn somebody off, you can't MAKE them make the decision, it has to come from them, but I'm so afraid of saying anything because it makes people defensive,..."  and he said something to the affect that his step son? or somebody - who has some kind of a problem, when you try to tell him what to do he just shuts off...  so he "got that."  He thanked me several times.  I drove away feeling good in my heart.  That I had at least tried.  And who knows - maybe a seed was planted for a future harvesting period.

The whole point of this story is - don't be afraid to ask people if they've ever wanted to quit smoking.  And don't be afraid to offer them this website as a way out.  It  could be just the thing they need to hear at that time in their lives to move them forward in that process.  We never know.

exproductmgr   Megan - Those old cards are really uninteresting (as you all know).  I'm really looking forward to the new batch.  And yes, I'd certainly be willing to purchase them as an individual.  The WOW card is what has stuck in my mind as the most potent of the new graphic designs.  Meanwhile, can we get more of the old ones?

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Update 6/18/19

Old Cards:

                                     Front                                                                         Back

WP_20180129_001.jpg  WP_20180129_002.jpg

NEW CARDS!!!

EXcard Ooops.jpg   EXcard back.jpg

Get some for yourself:  WALLET CARDS

Tags (2)
20 Comments
freeneasy
Member

Ya dun good. I'm not going to Walmart on a mission to hunt down  smokers in the parking lot but if we sense the situation is right it's a good thing to do,  

Giulia
Member

Thanks for the backup, Jim!  I didn't know the situation was right, until I put myself out there.  I could have just gotten into my car and driven away wishing I HAD offered that thought and that card.

Mandolinrain
Member

What a great story and service you did for him. Even if decides to never stop by our site or lets say, even if he does....you have planted the first seed. As a gardener your well aware some seeds just never sprout....some seeds take forever to sprout and some take many years to mature ( that would be me, lol)...and unfortunately some seeds are just never cared for, watered or are placed into bad soil. You may never know the outcome but you will always know this one seed you planted was cared for to the best of your ability...now it has a choice to make.

xoxoMissy

MarilynH
Member

Great post and again I wish we had a helpful button for blogs because I'd be tapping on it right now but I'll have to settle for the like button instead I've mentioned this site to several people including my daughter Mandy who still smokes and they know that I'm very active on this site and that it's a big part of the reason that I'm Smokefree. 

Thomas3.20.2010

How sad that so many of our Veterans have picked up self-destructive addictions.

I unintentionally bumped an old beat up car about a Month ago. The guy was livid! He walked around his car looking for the slightest nick for 5 minutes straight and then scolded me profoundly for scaring him to death! What a contrast! All your veteran cared about is that you are OK! 

Thanks for an uplifting story, Giulia! People are always more important than stuff!

JACKIE1-25-15
Member

Good job

AnnetteMM
Member

Ditto what Jackie said!

Giulia
Member

I also mentioned to him that if he knew anybody who was wanting to quit to pass the card onto them.  You never know about that butterfly effect!

pir8fan
Member

Great job Giulia! Being the quiet shy type that I am, I understand how hard that was to do! But it was really........................... Wait a minutes........... oh yeah......... not me! I am not very reserved! I speak to everybody! And those opportunities to come around! 

I do do understand that you value you privacy, and I respect that! However, I am so happy you got the chance to see that you can plant a seed in someone’s life without sacrificing very much of your own information! Most people are much more likely to talk about themselves than to ask questions about you! And I am constantly amazed by how much they will tell you!

Awesome job G!

Giulia
Member

I'm not worried about sacrificing my own information.  I'm actually very outgoing and gregarious.  Strike up conversations all the time with strangers.  And yes, they will tell you EVERYTHING if you're a good listener.  (The only privacy I require is I don't want people knowing my home address and phone number until I've gotten to know them a bit.) But that's different than striking up a conversation with the point of mentioning a quit smoking site.  You're the salesman.  You're good at that kind of thing.  My fear is that they will NOT appreciate the mention of quitting and turn hostile.  I know it's all in the approach.  But the more I practice, the better I'll get at it.  And certainly when one encounters a fellow like I did in the truck, it's encouraging.  

EXProductMgr
Community Manager
Community Manager

What an awesome story, Giulia! Thank you for sharing your experience with him, and your experience with him with us

I'll see what we have in terms of old cards while the new ones are being printed!

Strudel
Member

Great story Giulia! Thanks for paying it forward.....

elvan
Member

WOW Giulia‌, that's GREAT.  I have given cards to my doctor's offices but I have never dared to ask a stranger if they had ever tried to quit.  I do have a few cards left that I keep with me, just in case.  I am SO IMPRESSED!!!!  GOOD FOR YOU!

Giulia
Member

Seriously, I learned a good lesson through this.  If you start out with the question, "Have you ever wanted to quit smoking?"  There is almost NOBODY who will say "No" to that question.  The ones who say "no" are probably the most closed to the suggestion.  (And even then you could just say "Well if you ever do, here's a great place that will help you..."  And offer them a card.)  But I suspect most will say yes - they wish they COULD quit.  And I suspect just like that man I met in the parking lot, they're going to say they've tried many times.  And then, just launch into your own story about your own experience.  After all there is nothing so strong as our own experience of quitting and the positive transformation it has made in our lives.  Or if you don't want to launch into your own story, then you can just say, "I quit.  This is place that helped me get to where I am, check it out if you'd like..." and hand out the card.  

The bell may ding in their heads.The seed may come to fruition years hence.  But the seed will have been planted as Missy said.  And if you should happen to get a "thank you" in return - rejoice in your heart all the way home!

djmurray
Member

Love this story, Giulia -- I've had similar conversations (even with a couple of strangers) and while I don't have cards to give out (although I should have them) it's true that people are often receptive.  Now, as to whether they rushed to this site I can't say, but as you so aptly put it you've planted a seed for a possible future harvesting.  I've also told my doctors about EX and offered to talk to any of their patients who are desperate to quit.

Giulia
Member

I also pass out cards at my doctors' offices.  Did so the other day my dentist's.  Interestingly I just received a form in the mail from my eye doc's office where I have an appt. next week.  Never recall having to fill one out before.  Why, one might ask, do they want to know your smoking status?  Well, another little truth we were never told about this addiction is that smoking leads to "age-related macular degeneration, cataracts, glaucoma,  diabetic retinopathy and Dry Eye Syndrome."   Smoking Can Lead to Vision Loss or Blindness 

How smokeless tobacco affects the eye I haven't yet found (except that  nicotine does constrict the blood vessels).  

IMG_8111.JPG

elvan
Member

I just had my eyes checked, fortunately, I don't have any of the above issues.  I just need bifocals and they want me to get progressive lenses but my rheumatologist is absolutely opposed to them because she is certain that I will fall.  She says it is too hard to get used to them so she recommended regular bifocals or two pairs of glasses, one for reading and one for driving or seeing distance.  I haven't priced a pair of glasses yet...I keep seeing ads for places where you can order your glasses on line.  I find that mildly intriguing since they are so much cheaper BUT I need to know how heavy they are...I guess you can virtually try them on.  I may see what I can find.  

DonnaMarie
Member

I'm not sure I'd have the nerve to do this, but bravo to you for asking the man and finding that he was engaging!

What are these cards you talked about? 

Giulia
Member
Julia_Amy
Member

Hi Guilia!  In my job I talk to people about quitting smoking all the time.  It surprises me everytime a patient comes back to me or calls me months after I talked to them when they were totally resistant to quitting saying: "I was thinking about what you said...."  Or "I quit because of what we talked about".  And I thought I wasn't getting anywhere.  I see these guys on a regular basis but it was that one conversation that helped them.  It holds true to me that it doesn't matter who had that conversation, sometimes we magically connect and make a difference.  You're right, once planted the seed may well be harvested.  Keep planting!  BTW:. I always recommend Becomeanex with explanation of you guys saving me 8 yrs ago.  Think of you all often.

JuliaAmy

About the Author
Member since MAY 2008. I quit smoking March 1, 2006. I smoked a pack and a half a day for about 35 years. What did it take to get me smoke free? Perseverance, a promise not to smoke, and a willingness to be uncomfortable for as long as it took to get me to where I am today. I am an Ex but I have not forgotten the initial difficult journey of this rite of passage. That's one of the things that's keeping me proudly smoke free. I don't want to ever have another Day 1 again. You too can achieve your goal of being finally free forever. Change your mind, change your habits, alter your focus, release the myths you hold about smoking. And above all - keep your sense of hewmer. DAY WON - NEVER ANOTHER DAY ONE. If you still want one - you're still vulnerable. Protect your quit!