I've having a day of weakness. Seems like my cravings are worse than usual. Sure, I'm days away from my Quit Date. I could light up without that Catholic guilt creeping in on me, but I'm trying to show some restraint. I mean, I don't want to hit my Quit Date and think "Damn! I should've done some tapering before now, huh?" Trying not to be a dumbass, which is difficult. *grin*
Health stress hit me hard today. Had some physical aches and pains and pressures. I always wonder if the symptoms I experience are a result of my anxiety/panic disorder or real, hardcore physiological signs of a greater problem. The curse of the over-thinker. Of course, that doesn't stop me from taking a puff here and there. Gotta add that fuel to the fire.
I spent most of today feeling lost, detached from my surroundings. I've been known to feel this way when I feel the world's becoming too much of a stresser for me to remain engaged in the here and now. The Hub loves it. *sniff-sniff* Yep, that was sarcasm. But he's incredibly understanding. I'm a lucky homo.
I start Yoga tomorrow. I was suppose to start it earlier this week but life had other plans. So, I'm ready to go balls-out and try whatever I possibly can to get me outta this daze I'm in...back into the life I know I deserve. Also, I start seeing a therapist on Monday, something I promised myself I would never do. But I'm opening myself to just about everything available.
It's after midnight. Time to put my tired ass to bed.
I wish everyone a great weekend. And thanks for all the encouragement and support.
Riding strong as I can,
KC
