In need of support and advice!

[lpears]

I am totally new to the website and five days into my new smoke free life. (It will be 5 days at 11:15 tonight). The hour count could symbolize my desperation or difficulty here but I hope by writing it down I could not only maybe feel a little better but also get some words of encouragement or support. 

I'm 25 and have been smoking for eight years at a pack a day. This is my first time around the quitting loop. My wonderful and supportive significant other has quit smoking on the same date at the age of 31 after smoking a pack a day for 10 years. He has quit a few times already, but is confident that this is his last. 

He has decided on the gum and I have chosen the patch. He has actually been doing really well and I'm very proud of him. I, on the other hand, have been nothing but a train wreck. I actually have been ok with cravings (maybe 2 or 3 a day now) but am emotionally defeated. I spend most days crying and barely can get out of bed. I'm really anxious and depressed. It's taken a toll on him and I feel terrible, so I am trying to get a bigger support system to take the load off. Our parents have both smoked but insist that it just takes will power and it's not an addiction, contrary to scientific evidence. 

I guess what I really just want to know if someone, ANYONE has ever gone through the emotional distress. I feel kind of isolated in my feelings and it's lowering my power to stay away from a good old fashion drive to the store. The physical withdrawl was terrible and I don't want to go through that again. Just need to love and support. Advice is absolutley warranted. If I'm being a total baby about this, someone please say so hahaha. 

[stonecipher]

You've come to the right place.

Great that you have already quit, but I hope you will educate yourself.  It doesn't take much time, and will be so helpful.

Please go to my page and check out the links in my "about" section.

hang on.  You can do this.  Come here often and read the blogs.  Lots of advice and support.

And NOOOOOOOO you are not being a baby.  Not a total baby, not even a PARTIAL baby.  haha

[linda258]

Yes,   I fell apart ... crying, depressed etc. etc.   It came and went ... just try to plow through knowing that it will get better.  So much better just to get through than to have to restart..... if you read the research you will learn that the nicotine messed with your brain cells..... so it is an addiction.... just hang in there. 

[GreenThumb3]

i feel you its a emotional roller coaster some days are better than others  my girlfreind is about as much support as a rock she said i was a wimp since she quit years ago no help and i still smoked in house around her  thats one reason i come here everyday each day glad i did and made it one more day your not alone at all were all wanting success for all of us

[moody_9-18-13]

The first few days can be challenging and I remember being extra special good to myself because, after all I had made a decision to put myself into withdrawal. I deserved whatever I wanted, EXcept a cigarette. So....

If you can sleep, do so.

If you are tired before bedtime, no matter what time it is, go to bed and rest.

Drink lots of light cranberry juice and cold water.

If you feel hungry, eat whatever you want!

If you want to scream, go somewhere no one will hear and yell to the top of your lungs...I got into my car, turned up the music and yelled a few times! If you can't do that, scream into a pillow!

Just keep going, be very kind to yourself, keep your blood sugar regulated with small meals several times a day and cut down on caffeine or you'll not be able to sleep at night. Our bodies process sugar and caffeine differently when we quit smoking.

I have a lot of links on my page to help new quitters learn more about nicotine addiction and quitting advice. You can access it by clicking on my dog's picture. Hang in there, you CAN do this.

[Giulia]

No, you're not being a baby.  YES YOU ARE!  Both are true.  And both are okay.  Quitting is a bear.  or a b*tch, or a - framapazzlebigglediggle!  It all depend on how you see it.  Here's the thing - you're 25,  You've smoked since you were 17.  It's TIME.  I'm 64.  I quit 7 years ago.  I waited too long.  I wish I had quit at your age.  I wish (as most of us do, that we had never taken it up in the first place.)  If you look at most of the ages of the people on this site (those who are generous enough to reveal it), you will find that the majority of us quit in our 50s.  This is your GOLDEN OPPORTUNITY to not wait as long as we did.  This is YOUR TIME to succeed and never look back.  DON'T WAIT until you're in your 50s.  (are you listening?)  

Five days is a lifetime in terms of a new quitter.  BE VERY PROUD OF THAT!!!!  And aim for the milestones.  Two days - and you'll have a week.  Ya know?  Each day you spend smoke free is another day you've not only conquered your addiction, but another day you can add a notch onto your belt.  If that makes any sense.  It's another day of wisdom and stamina.  Another day of hope.  Another day of knowing YOU CAN.  When you're going through the emotional distress, keep that knowledge and accomplishment close to your heart.  You're already way ahead of those who wish they had simply 5 days smoke free behind them.  Do you see?  They want to be like you.  Keep your eyes focused on the prize.  The pain is worth the glory.  I promise you.  And so will so many others on here who have "been there, done that."  Hang in.  You're doing great.  Just - hang - in.  OK?

[JonesCarpeDiem]

find out how much gum he's using?

there was someone on here recently who had been using 24  pieces a day.

thats the equivalent of smoking 4 1/2 packs.

is he higher than a kite on dopamine from extra nicotine?

[nanawendy]

Welcome and congratrulations on 5 days. You are doing great. What you are feeling is normal. Just hang in there and take one day at a time. Just decide that smoking is not an option, no matter what. The freedom is so worth it.

keep calm and carry on

Wendy

12/31/12

[pamelaine123]

Hi

Congratulations on starting your new life. A few minutes ago I reached my 1 year anniversary! I smoked for well over 20 years and"quit" before but when I started here last Jan. 2, I finally got serious! 

Find ways to distract yourself and come here often!! It works! I used the patch for first 6 weeks and got strength through music. You have to find what works best for you. Good luck!

Happy New Year!

[jojo_2-24-11]

Sweetie, you are not being a baby, at all! Sometimes it takes lots of tears to get the emotions out. I am one of the believerst hat nicotine is an addiction, until I resolved to this, I had never succeeded in quitting. I have learned that fighting with oneself is never going to get me quit and to go with the craves/urges/smoking memories. It may be tough sometimes but each and every day I know that I have a choice and I choose to not smoke. Take lots of deep breaths and drink plenty of water and cry, kick, scream, just don't smoke. 

[Brenda_M]

Not only is it normal, it's temporary (and it's WORTH IT), so don't fret over the toll your emotions are taking on other people. You'll come out of the worst soon enough.

DON'T use it as an excuse to go back--that's one that Allen Carr talks about, to paraphrase, "I'm such a pain in the you-know-what to my family that the only fair thing to do for them is to start smoking again." No, no, NO! You'll come out of this swinging!

[lpears]

Reading through all of your comments just gave me the first positive happy tears I have had in five days!!!! Well, as of this morning, 6 days!!!! I am going to print all of your comments and keep them in my pocket to read through when I am going through a tough time. I cannot find the words to thank you all for the kindness and support! 

I woke up from a pretty bad dream last night (I can't remember it, thank god) but I was breathing heavily and sweating. I started to have a downword spiral but remember the portion in the Allen Carr book about defeating the big monster. So I literally, get ready to laugh, laid on my back and punch the kicked the air fighting the monster. 

He's not dead...but I'm sure I left at least a bruise 🙂 

Thank you all again. I feel so much better! If I could give you an award you would all win best support group ever :)))

[Ms.J_11-10-2013]

I'm 54 years old  and 53 days without a cigarette.  I also read Allen Karrs book and refer back to it allmost on a daily basis.  Calculate the amount of money you are saving each day, get a Montra and repeat it over and over, take deep breaths (of clean air)remember that your body is already starting to repair itself from the damage of all the pollutants in the smoke you inhaled.  You have to let your subconsious know that it is YOU in control and not him.  You are doing the right thing- keep it up, you will prevail!!!!!!!!!!!!

Ms. J

🙂

[OldBones-Larry]

Congratulations on your 5 days !!! 

Do you need an incentive to quit? Go read my bio on my page. I'm sure some other people here could give you the same story you will find there. I always thought, what can a few sickorettes do? I found out really quick.

Please keep those things away from your face. I never want anyone to have to go through what I did.

Best wishes on your quit and keep up the great quit.

Larry

[cheyenne7]

You will always be happy that you quit...you do not want to spend the next decades of your life trying to quit...I remember quitting here and there at your age, and every age since...time flies...please honor this quit, it will always be the best decision of your life!!! I'm very happy that you found this site at such a young age, and that you also have the support of your husband...You will succeed!!!

[lpears]

Thanks Ms. J, Larry and Cheyenne! Everytime I have a craving or weak moment I say outloud, "I'm better and stronger than that." 

I think you guys are right. I few weeks ago, when I chose my date and started to prepare, I wanted to push the date out. Before I knew it, I had enough excuses to last me until I was 110. I had timelined my future of all the things in my life that were going to make me smoke. It put it into perspective and really now is the best time to quit. It's never going to be convient and my addiction will always produce an excuse. 

Thank you all for the kind words. Without them, I might have had a slip. I'm stronger than ever and headed into day 7 in two hours!!! Thank you!!!!!!!