AEEUHAAH as I stretch this morning, moving me old bones and attached sinews to begin circulating, to wake up. This is ritualistic. Then I was to go out the back door, appreciciate the morning's beauty, light a cigarette, stand out there smoking it, while admiring my gardens.
Hmm.
No more. I can't do it any more! I can't be a contradicotry hyppocrite. I don't like playing that part.
The last time I "stopped" smoking was 3:00pm on June 16, 2011. Countless in my endeavors, I always bought and picked up again, and again, and again....
Smoking was a secret! I refused to smoke in public. As a professional, as a public speaker, I refused to allow subordinates and the general public to witness my habit or be aware of it at all. If I was out for hours at a time, the craving burn would not be appeased until I got home, outside on the patio, wherein I would chain smoke. I was a sneak. I was a cheat.
I don't want to live like this any longer! Why? #1 - Health issues; #2 - the vile and unattractive smell; #3. - Vanity in having to maintain the role of a "good example" in the eye of the public; #4 - The cost:- money spent on cigarettes can go to a multitude of other positive factors; #5 - Making Love - my smoke-free partner will not come near me due to the cigaretter smell; #6 - I would like to be thoroughly good, no longer a hypoccrite.
There are more reasons, but you get the idea. So, if I have to check in to 'ex' every hour, I will. Right now my determination is high, my spirit is in agreement, it's my mind that is the problem = breaking the habit. This is not going to be easy. I know, You know. But with your help, I can "task-to-goal."
