I have a super busy day tomorrow which should help! I am going to wake up, shower and spend as much time as possible getting myself pretty, because after all, this will be the first time I have gone to school without smelling like an ashtray! Mornings are hard so the busier I can stay during those hours will be SUPER helpful! I have made a list of all the reasons I want to quit smoking and I am going to keep it in my pocket tomorrow and look at it when I am feeling out of it. I have also made a schedule for myself tomorrow so when I am feeling out of it I can look at my schedule to see what I'm supposed to be doing and just do it! I have a giant bottle of water to put in my backpack tomorrow and about 5 packs of different kinds of gum... oh and my candy canes! Love those things! I guess all I'm trying to do is convince myself that no matter what, I CAN DO THIS AND I WILL DO THIS!!! Failure is not an option for me this time. I have done it before and I will do it again. Most of all, I want smoking to stop with me and have my daughter grow up to be a 'non smoking snob'! I want to conceive another child, I want to spend the holidays with my family without having to put my coat on every hour and go outside and freeze in the snow! I want to breath when I run... I guess that means I also want to start running again! I want to get into the nursing program at my college and if I can't then I want to do the respiratory program and they will not allow me in the program if I am a smoker! Most of all, as silly as it sounds, I want to smell good again! I want to smell myself and appreciate the scents of my perfumes instead of masking the smoke with perfume.
I need to stop rambling but I just wanted to write all of this tonight so when I wake up in the morning I will have it all layed out for me and can visually see how badly I want this! Good night everyone!
