I wanted to make a pretty big deal for myself that today I have 100 days without a nasty cigarette and without vaping, I did both in the last year or so. For years and years I was sickened by my own addictive behavior--I hated the smell of stale cigarette smoke that clung to me, I couldn't actually afford to smoke but did it anyway, and I was so angry at myself for being under complete control of tobacco, having to feed the addiction at the most inopportune times. And yet, despite all of this, I didn't quit. I had this mindset that I was incapable of quitting, that I just was too weak--this was a self-fulfilling prophecy. It was health issues that finally changed my thought processes and I realized that in order to continue having a life that is satisfying, I had to quit. I found this site, I think it was in August of 2022 and quit, but only for 51 days. I gave up my quit. I still had that defeated mindset that quitting and staying quit was not within my power. So I gave into my urges and negative thinking. Afterwards I felt shame and disgust for myself--but those kinds of feelings are not productive and I soon realized that in order to quit and stay quit I needed to be more optimistic and talk to myself in positive ways. And I needed to remember that the short term hardship and discomfort of quitting smoking is outweighed by far by longterm benefits. I have had a few close calls this quit, one recently, when negativity crept in and I almost willfully gave up my quit. I didn't though and I am still smokefree. I recognize that this quit is for me all about Choices and a Willingness to set aside immediate urges for a longer view that sees health, finances, spirituality, mental health all improving by my choosing not to smoke.
I've gone on long enough. Thanks for listening and I hope this January day finds you doing well. Thank you to everyone for this outstanding community!! Quitting nicotine is difficult but very doable!!!
