I hadn't smoked for 30 years. We went on vacation and as we started to drive to the resort my husband grabbed for a cigarette and I said, "Let me light that." That was 2 1/2 years ago. Now I've found out that I have a congental heart condition. I know that smoking only makes it worse but part of me doesn't want to quit and I am totally embarassed that I smoke, AGAIN.
I was/am an aerobics instructor but haven't been able to teach since last March. I can barely walk around the block. My husband is disabled and my daughter is in a difficult marriage. I am needed but have now become the person who "needs." If I don't quit I won't be able to regain my self-respect. I also quit drinking 22 years ago and I now want to drink, again. I think I smoke to escape the demands and challenges of life.
I've signed up for EX as part of my efforts to regain my will to do right for myself and others, but so far I just keep smoking. Every day I want to be THE DAY I don't smoke.
