I'm not giving up on myself

[constanceclum]

for those of you that don't know me, I am 56 yrs old and have severe copd. My mother died at 58 of coped. I also have a nodule in my lung that has grown over the past yr. They are talking about taking it out but I don't know if it's malignant or not. I am still trying to quit smoking. I am in pulmonary rehab and will attend 3, 90 minute smoking cessation classes starting in May. If this doesn't work, I am done. I have smoked for 43 yrs. I can't do anything without being short of breath. I really have no quality of life. I am going to keep blogging here just so you can follow my journey. Believe me, you don't want to live like I am and you don't want to die like I will in the next 2 yrs if I don't quit smoking

[froguelady]

You can quit, believe in yourself and commit not to smoke no matter what.  I smoked 54 years and I quit 4 years ago and have not smoked one cigarette since 3/16/11. I did not do it with willpower since I don't have any. I made a commitment I would not smoke for any reason no matter what. Every time a carving got to strong I would blog or go walking, eat a sugarfree candy or lots of them. You can do this and I will help you any way I can.

[Eric_L.]

Me too!

[Eric_L.]

We r here to support u no matter what

[Barbara145]

Hi Connie.  May I ask you a question?  You have a tumor growing in your lung and you are going to quit in May?  Really?  Sounds like addict thinking to me.  You did really well on the patches and gum.  How about slapping on a patch and grabbing a piece of Nicorette.  It may save your life.  If I can help you in any way, please let me know.  I care. 

[swilson2]

My door is always open whatever the need.

[MarilynH]

I believe in you Connie, you need to believe in yourself. We all here for you. 

Marilyn 

[JonesCarpeDiem]

why don't you change your thinking and put your faith in the process of quitting and the steps to success. most people have some days around 100 days, even before, where they don't think of smoking all day and they realize it the next day. you can't experience this if you never give it enough time to get there.

[hwc]

Connie:

What benefit do you think you get get from smoking?

[Giulia]

Dear God Constance.  What will it take?  I quit at exactly your age.  56.  I've been quit 9 years now.  I want this so much for you.  3 ninety minute cessation classes in May?  You will learn nothing we haven't told you.  All the answers and solutions are right in front of you.  If you'll only.. if you'll only what?  The answers and choices have been in front of you for quite some time and you haven't eaten them for breakfast, lunch and dinner.  That's what it takes. Constance in the clarity of your decision.  Constance and commitment.  Your quality of life can improve with your commitment to quit.  How much is it worth to you? 

[bonniebee]

Oh Connie so much good advice I am 65 and I have been smoking for 50 years I just quit this Feb and I have 69 days today  !!!  I

 know you have tried many times but jusy keep on trying Every past slip has taught you something about your addiction and where you went wrong and what you did right so this time can be your forever quit ! One day at a time ! Every day that you do not smoke helps your body recover . I agree with what Barbara said ....slap on that patch and get a piece of nicorette gum ! Don't wait all the way to May.... You cannot afford to wait you know what to do now. We are all here for you even us newbies !!!! Connie we can do it together !

[SkyGirl]

The most telling sentence in your entire blog, Connie, was "If this doesn't work, I am done."

Connie, you have been around EX for a long time.  You KNOW that nothing is going to do the work FOR you!

Like Giulia said, you have all the tools you need to quit.  Some classes aren't going to be a magic pill that finally "works".

Take a deep breath.  Start over.  NOW.  Come live here on EX for the next few days.  Use the support here.  Don't wait until May.  Nothing will be better or easier a month from now.  

You can do this.  YOU can do this.  Not classes.  YOU.  We are here for you.  You know that, right?

xxxooo,  Sky

[linda258]

I agree with your statement ... if you don't quit you are done.  You have to make a choice.  Right now it sounds like you choose death.   That sucks!  But, again you do have a choice. 

[bethso]

Connie,  I do hope that you choose the path of a healthier life style.  All the resources and support you will need for that journey can be found right here on EX.

I think everyone who started down the path before you can attest that they were frightened, unsure of the unknown, scared of failure... lots of insecurities.  On the other hand, those same people will also attest to the fact that they feel MUCH better physically and also feel better about themselves.  

To be honest, I started out practicing the quit.  I had a date set and thought I would hang here until the day arrived.  Once I read Alan Carr's book and saw the support here, I decided not to wait.  By the time my original quit date arrived, I was celbrating 50 days of being smoke free!!  What a fabulous feeling that was!!!

Don't wait until May.  Take the leap of faith here and now and we can help you along the way.  This is very doable!!  You just have to take that first step.

[Strudel]

Connie - As you can see from all of the comments above - no one here is giving up on you either. The thing is - we know your fear, we remember your fear, we lived your fear - all coming from this addiction and THINKING that it was out of our control. It doesn't have to be - you can have control. Really! It was the most amazing thing to me when I found that out.  It makes me so sad to see someone who is still in the grips of this addiction - someone who doesn't realize that they have the power to change things. 

You mentioned in another blog today that in this class you will be able to meet other people..... Please, remember that I have offered, and continue to offer, to meet you and talk....anytime.