I just need to release my angish

[marilyn_marmac]

Today, I'm not using this site for what it was intended. Today I'm using it for a personal oulet because my soul is crumbling into pieces. My son has asked that I not tell anyone what is going on yet...so I can't release my pain to those closest to me. My son, went to the emergency room last night with a severe headace and stroke like symptoms.  The scan shows a brain tumor in the middle of his brain.  He will see the neurosurgeon tomorrow but at this time, the neurologist on call has said that surgery will be required. It does not appear to be malignant, however, we've lost other family members to non-malignant brain tumors. Strokes, brain tumors and aneurysm run in our family and I had a stroke before my 50th birthday. I don't have the desire for a cigarette. I just needed to let my pain out in some way. For any of you that pray...please pray for my son.

[Nyima_1.6.13]

I am so sorry! How frightening for you and your son! I hope he will decide it's OK to share his vulnerable health situation soon! You both need all the support you can get. I'm glad smoking didn't enter your mind and this kind of health history seems like a continuing motivator to 'keep the away from your face'.

metta meditations coming your way

[freeneasy]

I never read any rules about  not posting personal concerns here. Thoughts and prayers for you and your son.

[mary242]

marmac...Im sorry we have not met yet. Im not on here as much now a days. Im so sorry to hear of your heartbreaking news.I have 3 grown children of my own and I understand just how you must feel. I want you to know that I will begin praying for your son and you and wont stop until all is ok. Please call on me for any support you might need, Im happy to lend an ear.Stay strong in your quit and take care of yourself during this hard time...your son will need you.Your friend...Mary

[mikecity]

Praying for you and your family.

[ninepatch]

Healing prayers to your son and family. God bless you all,

[lindan_7-14-10]

GOD bless your son with HIS healing strength. You are not alone. We are here♥

[YoungAtHeart]

Such frightening news!  I will also keep you and your son in my prayers.

And, please do remember that smoking will not do ONE thing to make anything any better.

Nancy

Qu,it 7/4/12

[reeree363]

Prayers and positive energy your way!

[marilyn_marmac]

Thank you, thank you so much. Reading your response, I was finally able to let go and cry. I cry as I type this and I know that I needed to cry. I have to stay strong for my baby, my children will be my babies no matter how old they are, but I needed to cry. I understand his need to get his thoughts and emotions in order before the rest of the family are called. I did the same thing so I know that part of the reason is because you don't want your loved ones to feel your pain. The other part because you can't deal with your own fears while trying to stay strong thru every call. I know..I understand why he wants to wait until the neurosurgeon gives the full scope before I call his brother and sister...at the same time...it's hard not to call them.  

[kathy_ryz]

[TigerLadie]

MY DEAR FRIEND!!!!!  I cried when I read this... and wished I had been here... wish I was with you to give you a real hug... but know that as you and I share a bond in my heart my heart is in anguish for you.... I know that it is easier to go through the pain then to see our children in pain or having health issues.... the words are not coming easily for me this morning but please know that I pray for you... and your family and hope so much that this will be best case scenerio.... 

[Mandolinrain]

Oh my, I am so sorry to hear this. You and your son certainly will be in my thoughts and prayers. I cannot imagine your grief and worries right now. Angels all around you now, stay strong. Hugs my friend~Missy

[Maryjo1953]

Thoughts, prayers & positive energy coming your way.

[misty_dawn]

Prayers going up.

[DebiD]

Prayers to you and your family.

[Susie49]

I just put my "prayer in" and God said He will be with your Son!!! (and of course Mom too ) Let you be safe and keep all energy positive....... Susie

[Jordan-11-1-12]

You, your son, and your family are in my thoughts and prayers.  

We're here for you so blog as often as you want to.... and please keep us informed.

[Jordan-11-1-12]

[jojo_2-24-11]

So very sorry to hear, sending prayers your sons way right now, and for you! Take care and always remember, you can come here and say whatever you need to.

[wishingstar]

Lifting you and your son up in my prayers. I know this feeling it is scarey. so my heart goes out to you.

[smorgy8513]

My prayers for you, your son and all your family.    You did use this site as it is intended, you reached out for support to those who are here for you.    Please keep us posted and I will continue to pray as God brings you to mind.

Sharon

[ShawnP]

I read this earlier from my phone right after i got out of church. I lifted both you and your son up in prayer and will continue too. Please keep us posted. Giving you a hug

[Strudel]

Oh my dear.....I am so sorry. I am sending prayers for your son and for you. I am so glad you reached out here.....please continue to keep us posted. Take very good care of yourself during this difficult time.  

[Giulia]

God's Love, God's Healing, God's Strength be within you all and without.  

[marilyn_marmac]

Thank you for being here, all of you!  You've made me realize that angels come when you need them..and you have been my angels today. I will let all of you know as soon as I hear something tomorrow. Love to you all.

[kat102]

marmac, my quitting buddy,

what a shock. what a blessing that your son did find it and is getting the help he needs and we do have time to pray and meditate. I offer you healing blessings and strength to get through these trying times. I was the same way as your son when I had surgery, but I know now, its better to have your family and friends know and let them choose whether or not they want to be there to help and support you. This really is the time when you need it most. Love and Blessings...

[marilyn_marmac]

Your concern and prayers lifted me up and I've calmed down a bit. The neurosurgeon is scheduled for late afternoon. I'm just waiting for news. The waiting is nerve wracking, especially when it's long distance waiting. My son is about 9 hours away. Before my stroke I would have been able to just jump in the car and go. Now, both driving and flying have obstacles. The good news is my husband doesn't think he will have a problem getting off work to take me. The best news is that I was able to call my daughter! My daughter plans on being there for the surgery and will meet us half way, to drive me in, if my husband can't get vacation time. All we need is the when and where, although I'm praying the neurosurgeon gives better news. I'm still not able to tell my youngest until all the facts are known. I understand. My youngest has a lot on his plate right now (I'm going to have another grandchild:) He wouldn't be able to make the trip so all he would be able to do is wait and worry. I'm blessed with a loving family that loves each other so much that we worry about the others even while we need their strength.

My nicotine urge kicked in last night, and is still going strong this morning. Thanks to my EXfriends, I expected it and prepared for it. While it's an irritation that I don't need right now...that's exactly how I'm looking at it, a minor irritation! I have continued to remind myself that a cigarette would not calm me down, it would only make it worse. And I know that my son would be very upset, as would everyone else in the family, if I did smoke one. I also know that it's only because my inner-strength is already at max usage, that I am having urges this strong. Don't worry, I won't give in to it. I will continue calling upon my EXfriends for help and killing time by re-reading the links that EX provided. The only good thing that came from having the stroke.. it made me realize just how strong my strength and will power is! I continuously find another well of inner-strength just when I think the well has gone dry. I don't think I truly appreciated my own worth, the beauty of the world and the people in it, until I almost lost it. Now, I do find angels everywhere. Thank you again for being some of my angels.