I feel bad for smoking but it feels worse to try to quit and fail.

[lcmershon]

I have just celebrated my 49th Birthday on December 3rd. I had wanted to be an ex-smoker by then.

I have been smoking a pack a day since 1978, I was 13 years old, that was 36 years ago. These past few years I am up to 2 packs a day. I don't have any memories of what it's like to be a non-smoker.

I have three grown kids, I desperately tried to quit smoking during and after each pregnancy. I tried so many times and every method. But, my brain just won't let me do it.

Recently, somehow I mustered up the courage to face it again. To really try to break free. I did the math and if I put the money I spend on a carton a week into a coffee can I would have $3,521.00 in a year!

So, I bought my last carton on 11/15/14. I took a glass jar with some water in it and put all the butts from that carton in there. It's nasty!

I set my quit date for 11/28/14. I started taking Chantix a week before that and found this website and read every blog. I had a few packs left after my quit date and decided to finish them and then I would quit. Well, Today I smoked the last cigarette from my last pack. I have been fighting the urge to go to the store and get another pack because I know it will just lead to another and another. But, it's not just an urge it's the fear that is driving me mad. The fear of quitting.

I also bought the book The Easy Way For Women To Stop Smoking by Allen Carr. I want to quit, I really do. But, honestly, I found the loophole of why I haven't committed to do his simple plan, I just can't seem to write my personal statement of why I want to quit.

Sounds so stupid and lame. I know I have all I need to do this.

So, what if I found the courage and my why's and wrote my statement? Would that be enough? Wouldn't I just come up with some other excuse not to quit?

I am so tired of putting in so much effort to quit and disappointing myself and my kids, my friends and my family. It really hurts and it really makes me feel so bad.

I feel bad for smoking but it feels worse to try to quit and fail.  I feel so trapped.

[stadtlerj]

oh how I know what you mean, I was at 50 years of smoking couldn't picture never not smoking but then I decided I didn't want to live trapped by these things it was such a struggle planning that next cigarette and if I didn't get it when I needed it I was a bear to every one around me.. Clear and simple we are just addicts, plain and simple...anyway I have been on this site for the last 200 and some days and I haven't had a cigarette in all that time and you know I never thought I'd ever say this but I don't need one and doubt I ever will. I swear if I can do it and all the folks here are working to do it, you can do it too, I know you don't think you can but you can.

Jim

[Thomas3.20.2010]

Most of us have smoked for decades. Yet we learned a new way o think about Nicotine Addiction and Recovery! We have lots of SUCCESS! You don't have to keep doing the same old things you have been doing. You can decide to live Smoke FREE!

[John10forteen]

C'mon, you can do it. If you've been reading the blogs you know that the FEAR only lasts as long as you let it. 

IT'S YOUR TIME TO JUMP AND FLY WITH US, C'MON. We're here for you when you are ready. 

[Luvbug4]

I'm right here with you.  The hardest part is part is getting started.  Download a quit counter app (I'm using iquit for iPad).  When I crave a smoke, I look at the time has passed and don't want to start all over again.  Maybe even take a whiff of what's in that jar.   I'm certainly no expert, tried and failed several times, but it is possible and you have to know you can do this

[linda258]

ok.... I feel bad for smoking but would feel worse if I quit and failed.... STOP.   That is a good addict line.  You are addicted to nicotine and will do anything or think anything to not stop smoking.  I know .. because I smoked for over 45 years... two packs a day.  If you decide to quit and are already thinking that you will fail... well, you are not planning on quitting.

What I can tell you is that it is not as hard as you think to quit.  It is not easy but You CAN quit.  There are so many advantages to quitting .... not killing yourself as one... but many others as well...

If you had asked me a little over a year ago ... well, I would not even be thinking about qutting and if you asked me I would have yelled at you to leave me alone.... there was no way I could even think of stopping.   Yeah,  I have not smoked in over a year.

Talk to your brain.... the addict is telling you it is not possible.   I am telling you that is a lie. 

[Ms.J_11-10-2013]

You are fighting yourself, it is you that has control not the nicotine.. Take that control and run with it, it is doable and everyone here can attest to that!!

Jackie

[Junior7]

Welcome!  So glad you are here.  Many of us have had failed quits and finally succeeded.  Don't let your addict brain mess with you.   Pick a quit date, do as much reading as you can, and be a success story.  Stick close to this site--we will be here for you. 

[JonesCarpeDiem]

I can think of something worse than failing at quitting

"I'm sorry. You have only weeks to live."

[YoungAtHeart]

There is a quote I like by Henry Ford that speaks to your blog:  "If you think you can or think you can't, you're right."  Your mind is your most powerful tool in the fight against addiction.  You can't win an argument with yourself, so don't even let it get started.  When those addict thoughts start, say aloud, "oh, yes, I CAN" because you really can.  All of us here experienced the fear of the unknown - wondering how we were going to go through life without our "go to" sidekick.  I am here to tell you, as are others, that we are going through just fine.  All of us were afraid of failure - but we made up our minds that it was just simply  not an option.  We decided that NO MATTER WHAT we were not going to smoke, and we honored that commitment.

It is great that you are reading Allen Carr.  As well, read the sections on this site, and read the blogs, responses and pages of folks you think might be helpful. You might visit whyquit.com and quitsmokingonline.com for the good information contained there. You should also do the tracking and separation exercises suggested on this site

The idea is to change up your routines so the smoking associations are reduced.  Drink your coffee with your OTHER hand. If you always had that first smoke with your coffee, try putting your tennies on right out of bed, going for a quick walk, then taking your shower and THEN your coffee! Rearrange the furniture in the areas you used to smoke so the view is different.

You need to distract yourself through any craves.  You can take a bite out of a lemon (yup - rind and all), put your head in the freezer and take a deep breath of cold air, do a few jumping jacks, go for a brisk walk or march in place, play a computer game.  Don't let that smoking thought rattle around in your brain unchallenged. Sometimes you need to quit a minute or an hour at a time.  You will need to be disciplined in the early days to distract yourself when a crave hits.  Don't let that smoking thought rattle around your head alone.  Get busy!  Here is a link to a list of things to do instead of smoke if you need some fresh ideas:

 https://excommunity.becomeanex.org/blogs/Youngatheart.7.4.12-blog/2013/02/25/100-things-to-do-instea...

The conversation in your head in response to the "I want a cigarette" thought needs to be, "Well, since I have decided not to do that anymore, what shall I do instead for the three minutes this crave will last?"  Then DO it.  You will need to put some effort into this in the early days, but it gets easier and easier to do.

Stay close to us here and ask questions when you have them and for support when you need it. We will be with you every step of the way!

Nancy