I didn't do it :(

[Minilove]

I was all psyched up, excited and armed for my quit. The day before, I cleaned my room good. Washed all the bedding my clothes. Got all the smells out of here. Even rearranged the furniture so nothing was the same.  Which was not easy for a person with COPD.  I was preparing myself and so looking forward to the day. I had my books, my journals, read all the info I could on here. 

What I did not prepare for was my son. As soon as I opened my eyes, before I could even get a cup of coffee or tea ( was going to drink tea since coffee is a trigger ) in walks my son with a cigarette, and he tells me, Dad and I bought you a pack of smokes just in case it gets too stressful for you. That did it. Power of suggestion. As soon as he said that, it was like...bring me one!

I know he means well. With my COPD, the thing that affects it the most is stress, because I have stress induced asthma, and once an astma attack hits me, I can't stop the breathing exacebation on my own. It usually requires a trip to the hospital and a 3 to 8 day stay. So they did it out of worry.  What they did not know is I was ready for any stress. I would have just locked myself in my room, and read a book, studied my bible or meditated. Anything that would calm me down. 

So now I have to pick a new quit day, and psych myself all over again!  But I will not give up!

[Thomas3.20.2010]

Please talk to your Family - maybe even take them with you to the pulmonologist! There is nothing more important in your treatment for COPD/Asthma than to Quit Smoking!

Just don't give up!

Please!

[tjanddj]

Save a Life - Let it be Yours!

Trudy

[Jennifer-Quit]

You really need to have a talk with your family.  A good support system makes all the difference in the world.  Don't give up on this - your life depends on it!

[JACKIE1-25-15]

Any day is a good day to quit smoking. Today is a good day to quit.  As you have seen you can easily allow someone else to sabotage your quit.  They are aware there are some things you may have to go through to quit. You need to also prepare your family so they know exactly what you need, not cigarettes especially if you have COPD. 

[Storm.3.1.14]

I am not a bully. That'ss not my style. I don't believe in it, so I'm not getting bossy with you here, okay? With that in mind, I want to happily point out the powerful answer you have written within your own blog here: What they did not know is I was ready for any stress. I would have just locked myself in my room, and read a book, studied my bible or meditated. Anything that would calm me down.

I'll put my hand on your shoulder now, and ask, "Why didn't you activate this coping strategy when faced with that cigarette?!"

So, when the time comes for you to quit again, apply your lock-them-out-and-meditate strategy to every situation and/or person that challenges your new quit.

You found your answer to this type of situation. Honor it from now on, okay?

Regroup, and keep us posted...

[MePlus3]

I slipped numerous of times in the same way. Replace "heck yeah give me one" with "I don't do that anymore" especially in your mind tell yourself even before things like that happen that you don't do that anymore and SINAO (smoking is not an option) works especially in those cases. To get over the mental addiction you have to retrain your mind I retrained my mind to think of smoking as something terrible that's when your imagination come in. Make it into an allergy or a venomous plant that if you touch it you'll break out and get sick let your imagination run wild until it stop being an option! You can do it! Also, smoking elevates stress hormones especially when you smoke during stress thats the reason people tend to "chain smoke" when they're upset. Think about it, you smoke to relieve stress however your brain has a new stress of its own once that bit of nicotine run out in a matter of minutes. You have to face the music let that nicodemon know that it's over and retrain your brain. Wishing you luck Kimberly

[MePlus3]

Also talk to your family even if they heard it before it's time they hear again ask them to support you during this time, smoke outside and keep the smokes out of your sight. Don't buy any explain to them how smoking is really not helping your COPD/asthma and you want to quit. Like you mentioned, they did it out of worry so have them to worry about that precious quit instead 🙂 Keep us posted!

[crazymama_Lori]

give that pack to someone else, tell your family that no matter how much I ask, do not give me a cigarette and just jump right back on the quitting train there, girl.  You do not have to smoke the whole thing.  You politely ask your family to smoke outside  or guests that come to your home.  You are driving this freight train...... now get crackin'  !!!!!

[YoungAtHeart]

Letter to family:

I am about to try and change my life for the better. I am going to quit smoking. I just wanted to write this letter to you so you know what to expect for the next couple of weeks, since the process of withdrawal can be very challenging for me, and for those around me. (Most people do not realize it, but nicotine addiction is literally one of the hardest drugs to kick, even harder than heroin).

Everyone reacts to the withdrawal symptoms differently, but in general, during the first two weeks (Hell Week and Heck Week), don't expect much from me. I will most likely not be my normal self. All of my attention will literally be taken up with fighting the physical and mental urges to smoke. I may cry, I may yell, I may ignore you. Worst of all, I may say very hurtful things to you, but I want you to know that this is the nicotine talking, not my heart. I WILL apologize afterwards, once the poison has left my body and my mind has cleared, but for the moment, please, PLEASE remember that I love you, and let it roll off your back.

You need to know that when a smoker quits, the body and the mind will try almost anything to trick the user into taking another puff. I may rationalize that "now is not a good time". I may question the worth of my existence. I may talk about feeling a sense of emptiness and loss. My body may develop aches and pains. I may not be able to sleep. I may act like the pain I am experiencing is all your fault.

But be aware that I am doing this for ME, not for you. In this one important way, I have to be selfish, so that I cannot give the nicotine a reason to put the blame on anyone else. So you must not feel responsible for my discomfort and depression. Even if you feel you can't stand to see me this way, whatever you do, do NOT tell me it's OK to smoke, just to stop the pain. You have to be strong when I am weak, so do not agree with any "junkie thinking" I may come up with.

Here are 10 things you CAN do to help:

Be there when I need a hug, but don't be hurt when I push you away.

If I tell you to leave me alone, give me space, but don't go too far...I need to know you are near no matter what the nicotine says.

Don't try to argue with me when I start to rationalize...silence is a more powerful message.

Avoid the topic of cigarettes (because I'm trying to get them off my mind), unless I bring it up first.

Do the best you can to act as if everything is normal. The more "normal" you act, the faster I will get there.

Consciously avoid putting me into situations where I will be in the presence of smokers. This may mean avoiding favorite restaurants or bars, or hanging out with certain friends for awhile.

Consciously avoid letting me get into stressful situations...if something stressful can be put off for a couple of weeks, please try to do so. If not, please try to cushion me.

Help me avoid "trigger" situations...places or activities where I usually light up. (For example, don't plan long road trips for the next couple of weeks if I usually smoke in the car).

Just keep telling me it will get better, that the emptiness and pain will fade, that you love me, and that this effort is worth it.

Tell me I am strong. Tell me you are proud of me. But also, tell me you will be there no matter what I say or do.

I just wanted to prepare you because the first two weeks are usually the worst, but be aware that it doesn't suddenly get better...it will be a gradual process. Also, please be aware that while I am doing this quit for me, you and those around me will benefit as well. I will be free from the shackles of needing to know where the closest cigarette store is. I will be free of the smell and stains. I will be free of an early death. And I will be free to spend more quality time with those I love.

Thank you in advance for being strong enough to love me, and help me through this.

[MePlus3]

Awesome letter Nancy!

[bonniebee]

I think that letter ris great and I am glad that Nancy posted it for you  !

Sometimes those we love feel guilty about there own smoking when someone close quits .One of my sisters is so negative about me quitting we rarely talk on the phone anymore . My other sister though a smker is supportive of me quitting and I try hard not to get judgemental or pushy about her smoking .

My room/mate and friend is supportive to a degree but then she smokes all the time around me.

I did that to one of my best friends too ! I was secretly glad when she began smoking again ! Smoking can be such a selfish addiction I guess all addictions are selfish since they take so much control over our minds and bodies I am so glad to be 541 days free and  you will be free too !

[TerrieQuit]

Yes, please! a talk with the family, a letter (great idea, Nancy!) and a plan that you will stick with, NO MATTER WHAT! Please keep us posted! Terrie

I Won't Quit on my Quit!

[YoungAtHeart]

P.S.  Lest I be given credit - I did not write this letter.  It was on the site somewhere early in my quit and I thought it was informative, so I have kept it in my arsenal ever since.  If anybody knows who wrote it - I would be happy to add credit where credit is due!

[Strudel]

Please - use the letter Nancy shared with you - please!  

[MarilynH]

Please use the letter above, you need to quit smoking so you can save your life because your life needs you to quit! 

[djmurray]

I see you had a blog a few days ago titled "Goodbye to an old friend."  I remember that feeling, that I was losing a friend.  I think I even blogged about it in those very early days.  But here's something I found also early in my quit that helped me get my head straight about this "friend."

How do you feel about a friend who has to go everywhere with you? Not only does he tag along all the time, but since he is so offensive and vulgar, you become unwelcome when with him. He has a peculiar odor that sticks to you wherever you go. Others think both of you stink.

He controls you totally. When he says jump, you jump. Sometimes in the middle of a blizzard or storm, he wants you to come to the store and pick him up. You would give your spouse hell if he or she did that to you all the time, but you can't argue with your friend. Sometimes, when you are out at a movie or play he says he wants you to go stand in the lobby with him and miss important scenes. Since he calls all the shots in your life, you go. Your friend doesn't like your choice of clothing either. Instead of politely telling you that you have lousy taste, he burns little holes in these items so you will want to throw them out. Sometimes, he tires of the furniture and gets rid of it too. Occasionally, he gets really nasty and decides the whole house must go.

He gets pretty expensive to support. Not only is his knack of property destruction costly, but you must pay to keep him with you. In fact, he will cost you thousands of dollars over your lifetime. And you can count on one thing, he will never pay you a penny in return.

Often at picnics you watch others playing vigorous activities and having lots of fun doing them. But your friend won't let you. He doesn't believe in physical activity. In his opinion, you are too old to have that kind of fun. So he kind of sits on your chest and makes it difficult for you to breathe. Now you don't want to go off and play with other people when you can't breathe, do you?

Your friend does not believe in being healthy. He is really repulsed by the thought of you living a long and productive life. So every chance he gets he makes you sick. He helps you catch colds and flu. Not just by running out in the middle of the lousy weather to pick him up at the store. He is more creative than that. He carries thousands of poisons with him which he constantly blows in your face. When you inhale some of them, they wipe out cilia in your lungs which would have helped you prevent these diseases.

But colds and flu are just his form of child's play. He especially likes diseases that slowly cripple you - like emphysema. He considers this disease great. Once he gets you to have this, you will give up all your other friends, family, career goals, activities - everything. You will just sit home and caress him, telling him what a great friend he is while you desperately gasp for air.

But eventually your friend tires of you. He decides he no longer wishes to have your company. Instead of letting you go your separate ways, he decides to kill you. He has a wonderful arsenal of weapons behind him. In fact, he has been plotting your death since the day you met him. He picked all the top killers in society and did everything in his power to ensure you would get one of them. He overworked your heart and lungs. He clogged up the arteries to your heart, brain, and every other part of your body. In case you were too strong to succumb to this, he constantly exposed you to cancer causing agents. He knew he would get you sooner or later.

Well, this is the story of your "friend," your cigarette. No real friend would do all this to you. Cigarettes are the worst possible enemies you ever had. They are expensive, addictive, socially unacceptable, and deadly. Consider all this and NEVER TAKE ANOTHER PUFF!

[Minilove]

Thank you all for the support, and wow djmurry, what a powerful letter!!!!

[CommunityAdmin]

This thread is an example of why this is such a powerful and amazing support community!

Mark
EX Community Manager