I did it before. I quit before. Hell, I went for 6 years without a cigarette. Then I broke up and moved out of my fiance's in 2010 so I smoked for a few months and quit again. I was fine until something happened to me in late 2013 and I started smoking again.
I bought a vape in late 2015. I was able to quit with the use of that vape January last year. I HATED the taste of cigs after that. I know what caused me to start again - a job position I accepted that might have been over my head at the time working for a company that frankly I was shocked that they even hired me. The stress and the long commute (2hrs), coupled with my new landlords rolling their own cigs and letting me have access to their backyard. I justified it in my head because I was in a new career, this is natural tobacco, etc. This was in late June. I quit that position in September but haven't quit the smoking and smoke my old brand.
It is 2017, I live alone and work in a field where people would be suprised and frankly, dissapointed, if they learned I smoke. I am even smoking in my apartment, which is something I never did. It is rough because I work from home a lot prepping for clients and learning as much as I can (I work for myself now and enjoy it very much even though the hustle is real). I take my equipment and go from gig to gig, hopefully driving (when/if I can get my car fixed) or standing around waiting outdoors for trains and buses. With equipment. 30+ lbs. At night. In the cold.
This time quitting is going to be a challenge. Why? Because I still identify as a smoker and I have go and dig deep down and find the strenght and the desire that kept me so strong 13 years ago. I remember that day in 2004. The last day of the fiscal year of my old career. My co-worker and I stepped out to grab food to bring back to work. I remember smoking outside the deli, 3pm, tourists everywhere taking pictures (I worked right smack in the middle of tourist trap) and as I finished I told my co-worker this is my last cigarette. No big prep. No fanfare. I just did it. I remember I didn't have much of a choice at the time - my partner in my old hobby would complain all the time about the smell and since I was so excited to work with him it was worth quitting. Plus I had other habits at the time that made not smoking cigarettes not as terrible.
My current quit date I think is the 20th. It is a Friday. No particular reason why I chose that date except it is one of the days I have an early gig and it was the soonest date I could choose with an early gig so I could rush out of the house and not be home to think about it (even though my commute gives me lots of time waiting around outdoors). I have to remember that if I continue to smoke I have to continue to hide the smell and continue to live a double life. Without a car I have to go out of my way to get the cigarettes I like. The cig money is money that is taking away from the money I could be investing in my business learning the best ways to help my clients. I am also looking my age in an industry that embraces youthfulness and vitality.
But if I am going to be successful I have to find reasons to quit for me. Not for appearances or for others but for ME. I still have a few days left.
Time to prepare for a first session with a new client. Wish me luck - that I may effectively help her make the changes she wants to make, and that I find my deep down WHY that will help me be successful Jan 20 and beyond.
