I cannot quit

[Hermaba]

I have been a smoker for over 40 years and I have tried to quit many times. I have  been able to quit drinking and using, but I just cannot seem to be able to quit smoking. Have ever reason to quit, but still every time I try I fail. I feel like giving up, but I know how important it is to quit. I am lost.

[susan_m]

Hi Hermaba‌!  Welcome to EX!  

Of course you can quit - if I quit, anyone can!  It isn't easy, but it is so worth it.  YOU are worth it!  You will have members stop by and reply to this post very soon with good advice - take it.  

Don't let your addiction steal quitting from you.  It's the very best thing you can do for yourself!

Susan

[constanceclum]

You are in the right place. Most people quit several times before getting a "forever quit" Many of us also had other addictions too. There are a lot of people here that have been quit for yrs. and they will teach you how to navigate this site. I smoked for 45 yrs. and now have 8 weeks without a cigarette. Keep coming back, read blogs and read your comments that you will get here on this blog.

Connie

[JonesCarpeDiem]

So, how do you want to quit?

Abruptly? or ease into it?

[JonesCarpeDiem]

You look familiar.

Here's the no pressure way to ease into it that I came up with.

Where Does It Come From? 

And here's what you are up against

/blogs/jonescarp.aka.dale.Jan_2007-blog/2011/06/26/what-to-expect-in-the-first-four-months?sr=search... 

[JACKIE1-25-15]

Welcome to EX.  You have come to the right place for a new day and a rebirth for a forever quit.  

This is all about you and what you are willing to do to be smoke free. Quitting smoking requires hard work.  It can be challenging at times but you will learn that it is doable if you adhere to NOPE not one puff ever no matter what. 

 Start First, by educating yourself about nicotine addiction and telling yourself that you can instead of that you can't.  

Education is the key to a successful quit.  Read: Freedom from Nicotine My Journey Home and Nicotine Addiction 101         

Here are the links  http://whyquit.com/whyquit/LinksAAddiction.html   and http://whyquit.com/ffn/

Also Read   Allen Carr’s book, “Easy Easier Way to Quit Smoking”.       

The link is here:  http://media.wix.com/ugd/74fa87_2010cc5496521431188f905b7234a829.pdf

 Go to http://www.becomeanex.org/how-to-quit-smoking.php#thl and get started. We will support you. You are in your journey for freedom

.

[Giulia]

Of course you can quit.  You quit for 9 months once, right?  That means you CAN quit.  

If you're lost, then you need to go about finding yourself.  What is it within you that gives yourself permission to pick up that cigarette?  What is the excuse that you allow yourself?  You said you always used to go back to smoking for a number of reasons.  What are they?  When you know what they are, and find out WHY they are, then you can begin to eliminate them one by one.  

This is all a head game.  So you have to do some in-depth self analysis.  I'm sure you've done that with the other two addictions, right?  I don't imagine you could conquer them if you hadn't.  Perhaps this seems harder because it's the last frontier you need to overcome?  Because you need SOMETHING to give you pleasure, right?  Could that be anywhere in your thinking?   

[Mandolinrain]

I agree with everyone above....You can quit, but you need to educate your mind as to WHY you think you can't. 

I had a lot of failed attempts. I smoked over 30 years. I also thought it was impossible to ever feel normal without smoking. I actually enjoyed it most times. BUT....Once I recalled understood how Nicotine worked in my brain and finding out how deceitful the drug was....and believing all the lies about what the addiction said in my head...I was on my way to freedom.

This site, these folks, old and new....taught me I can live without it and wow were they ever right.

Please  read all the suggested reading. Buy Allen Carrs boo " The easy way to stop smoking" ( that book was a powerful instrument to my personal quit). Stay close to this site, blog often in good days and bad.

If you really want it, its yours for the taking, but ya gotta go through to get through.

Stick around...we will rub off on you:)

[Giulia]

And we can help you erase your cravings!

[elvan]

Do the recommended reading, make a quit kit, track your cigarettes and rate the triggers that you think make you smoke, on a level of 1 to 10 with 10 being the strongest and 1 the weakest...make a plan for what you will do INSTEAD of smoking when those craves hit, write it down, review it, decide how realistic it is.  Set a quit date and do all of your homework before that day.  You might try the delay tactic that JonesCarpeDiem‌ used.  Exercise, it releases dopamine and makes you feel happier and stronger, stock up on some healthy and maybe not so healthy snacks to substitute for smoking.  I smoked for 47 years and I quit COUNTLESS times, the only successful quits I had until this one were the ones when I was pregnant.  I had other short term quits that made me think there was no chance for me.  I started to really pay attention when I smoked, if I was smoking because I was angry, did it really help the anger or did I just sit there and smoke FURIOUSLY?  If I was depressed, did it really make me feel better or did I sit and cry while I smoked...all settled onto my pity pot?  If I was in pain (physical or psychological) what exactly did smoking do for that?  Did it relieve the pain or just distract me from it for a few minutes?  Did I like the looks I got from people who saw me smoking?  Did I like the way I smelled...did I even smell myself?  Was I happy?  Did smoking make me feel ashamed?  I didn't smell myself, I hated the way people looked at me, I was NOT happy, I WAS ashamed.  What changed?  I found this site, I tried twice in the months before this quit but I didn't pay attention to my own questions.  The seeds were planted though, I knew what I needed to so.  Then I got sick, life or death sick, there was no way I could smoke, I could barely breathe, I didn't even have the strength to cough.  My doc wanted me in ICU but as a retired nurse and horrendous patient I said no way and I drank literally gallons of juice, ran a vaporizer, used the two prescribed antibiotics, used a nebulizer, used the inhalers prescribed, hung myself upside down off the bed so the mucous would come out more easily while I beat on my chest to simulate a cough.  Somehow, by the grace of God, I made it and I have not smoked since.  I will not tell you that it was easy or that I never had challenges...some were worse than others but NONE were worth throwing away my quit.  You CAN do this, you absolutely CAN do this.  Be willing to be uncomfortable sometimes..you certainly have done that before.  Approach quitting as a journey to get to know who you REALLY are without drugs, alcohol, nicotine...learn to deal with life the way people who were never addicted learned.  We cut off our emotional development when we started to smoke, isn't it time to uh...grow up?  Stay close to this site, make your plan, blog, comment on other blogs, see how others are doing it and know that you are really not unique.  Many of us thought we could not quit but we did and we are still growing.  It has been over three years since I smoked.  

Welcome to EX...to the road to freedom!

Ellen

[YoungAtHeart]

Welcome to our community!

Of COURSE you can quit - you've done it many times - right?  STAYING quit is the most difficult part of this.  Before you quit this time, think about the circumstances/emotions that caused you to make a decision to smoke during your last attempts.  When you figure them out, make a plan ahead of time what you will do differently this time.  Einstein said, "The definition of insanity is doing the same thing over and over and expecting a different result." 

The most important thing you can do right now is to educate yourself on what nicotine does to your body and mind. To that end, I also highly recommend Allen Carr's “The Easy Way to Stop Smoking.” This is an easy and entertaining read.

 You should also read the posts here and perhaps go the the pages of folks who you think might be helpful.

You might visit, quitsmokingonline.com and livewell.com for the good information contained there. @https://excommunity.becomeanex.org/groups/best-of-ex has lots of blogs written by members of this site with their experiences and guidance. You should also do the tracking and separation exercises suggested in My Quit Plan http://www.becomeanex.org/my-quit-plan.php

After you have completed the recommended reading, it will be time to make an informed choice of the quit aid, if any, you will use. If you go that route, I personally recommend the aids that don't let the addict control the dose such as the available prescription drugs or the patch. If used properly, gum, lozenges and inhalers are fine, but they need to be used only as a last resort.  I have seen folks become addicted to them if they substitute them for every cigarette they used to smoke - just trading one addiction for another.  I do not recommend the e-cigarette for three reasons: 1) the vapor has been compared to the polluted air in Bejing on a bad day, 2) they just provide another nicotine delivery system while continuing the hand to mouth smoking motion, and 3) the batteries can spontaneously catch on fire. . But – any method that you think will work well for you will be best for you.

The idea is to change up your routines so the smoking associations are reduced.  Drink your coffee with your OTHER hand. If you always had that first smoke with your coffee, try putting your tennies on right out of bed, going for a quick walk, then taking your shower and THEN your coffee! Rearrange the furniture in the areas you used to smoke so the view is different. Buy your gas at a different station. Take a different route to work. Take a quick walk at break time where the smokers AREN'T.

You need to distract yourself through any craves.  You can take a bite out of a lemon (yup - rind and all), put your head in the freezer and take a deep breath of cold air, do a few jumping jacks, go for a brisk walk or march in place, play a computer game.  Don't let that smoking thought rattle around in your brain unchallenged. Sometimes you need to quit a minute or an hour at a time.  You will need to be disciplined in the early days to distract yourself when a crave hits.    Get busy!  Here is a link to a list of things to do instead of smoke if you need some fresh ideas:

https://excommunity.becomeanex.org/blogs/Youngatheart.7.4.12-blog/2013/02/25/100-things-to-do-instea...

The conversation in your head in response to the "I want a cigarette" thought needs to be, "Well, since I have decided not to do that anymore, what shall I do instead for the three minutes this crave will last?"  Then DO it.  You will need to put some effort into this in the early days, but it gets easier and easier to do.

You can do this!  We can help!  Stay close to us here and ask questions when you have them and for support when you need it. We will be with you every step of the way!

Nancy

[prjimm01]

welcome my friend.  take your time.  read the blogs and advice.  make a plan.  quit.  failed?  try again!  we are here to help, not to judge.  choose life - you will not regret it!

[Mike.n.Atlanta]

Funny...I remember making the same statement 12 years, 6 months, 3 days, 17 hours, 4 minutes and 36 seconds ago.

Listen to the guys above me there. You're stronger than you think, we all are. You just need to commit.

Keep on keepin on,

M n @

[gregp136]

Yup, like everyone else said.  YOU CAN!  We all did.  Still a rookie here, but if you want to, you have come to the right place.  And darn it, it will be hard, but you can.  You really can!.  

[susan_m]

Best response ever!

[Jennifer-Quit]

You can - you just have to make up your mind to do it.  It is not always easy - but it is doable.  Do the recommend reading others have suggested.  Allen Carr's book is good to get your head in the right place.  whyquit.com is also a good web site to visit and read.  You can do it - look around - lots of good examples here of people who have quit!

[gardenancy8]

 https://www.youtube.com/user/joelspitz   This man Joel Spitzer and this site is what helped me so far! I like watching quick little videos to help me understand the addiction.  You can do this 

[MarilynH]

I agree with everyone above me, you need to believe that you can quit smoking, then you need to be willing, determined and totally committed to succeed and you can and will be successful one precious smoke free day at a time, with the right mindset we can do just about anything we put our minds to. Hermaba

[gardenancy8]

What I meant by  ' this site ' is the Ex community!  This support group is awesome and I come here several times a day for support! And to also give support! 

[bacardigirl]

Oh yes you can! Believe in yourself and you will! This is the BEST place for support-I am successful because of EX and I smoked for 31 years! Follow the advice given here remember that we have your back and will support you inmany ways!

[Sootie]

As you can see from the above comments-----we don't take "I can't" for an answer!

YOU CAN! We all did and we are no different from you.....I promise.

Do the readings that were suggested and make up your mind that no matter how hard it may seem....you are doing it.

The hype on quitting is worse than the actual quit....but no matter what....no smoking.

I can assure you it is doable and sooooooooo worth it.

Stay Strong.

[TerrieQuit]

Fantastic comments and suggestions above! Yes, you can quit! Easy, no! Doable, Yes! I will add some links that will help you get around the site, https://excommunity.becomeanex.org/community/community-help/blog/2017/02/14/ex-to-ex-instructions?sr...‌' and /blogs/ShawnP-blog/2017/01/28/welcome-to-our-community?sr=search&searchId=46b86319-c990-4260-80da-49...‌

This third one has a lot of good information for quitters from 1-130 days and beyond https://excommunity.becomeanex.org/message/68188-my-welcome-to-new-members-10-years-of-wisdom-?sr=se...‌

and last but not least, this pledge page will help strengthen your commitment, DAILY! https://excommunity.becomeanex.org/message/80347-take-action-in-april-2017-with-a-daily-pledge-to-st...‌! 

It sounds like maybe you have been here before, so Welcome Back!    ~Terrie  119  DOF!~

[bonniebee]

So much good info above so I just want to say Yes you can and 

                                                    

[Yess]

The very first step I would recommend - change your thinking/words/statement - it is loaded with the emotional fuel of self sabotage!  Thoughts/words become reality - whether you believe this or not, test it out!  Change that statement to "I can (quit/stop/be smoke free)", "I am (a non-smoker)" - choose your words carefully, there are many ways to state your true intent, make them positive and present tense.  What do you have to lose?  Give it a shot and follow everyone's advice, there's lots of powerful help available to you, you just have to reach out and take it:) p.s. I smoked for 55 years and "failed" to quit many times yet here I am feeling really good about my 6 weeks being smoke free.  This site, these wonderful people, have been a catalyst to keeping me on track and I come here every day, even if I only have time to take the daily pledge! Oops, gotta get ready for work. Pamela

[Bree19]

Oh yes -you CAN quit - I smoked for 44 years without even stopping for pregnancies. You can quit because you have found us and we have your back.  Please read, absorb and action all the good advice above my message here.  

I'm so glad you've joined us.  I will be writing more regularly from the end of this month.  This is just a short first message to say, EX is here to help you through the tough and (MANY) good days in your smoke-free future.   I look forward to good news when I get out of hospital and see that you've started a quit plan with a quit date and LOTS of reading under your belt and that you are visiting this site often.   But believe me - education is the key!

Bree

[Hermaba]

Thank you everyone for the great suggestions. I will give a try and start again.

[elvan]

"change your thinking/words/statement"  there is no TRY...you have to DO it, you have to change how you think about quitting.  It IS doable!

Ellen

[JonesCarpeDiem]

[Happier2]

Remember when you had the other quits. The one thing in common they have, you don't posses the materials to keep it going. Nicotine is a liar, it talks until you are blue in the face. It sounds like your voice saying.."just one" . Remember, we believe what we say - good or bad. It's impossible to try not to smoke when you have them. It's easier to quit if you have none. There's no "voice" telling you anything. Remind yourself you'll ok in a minute, distract yourself with washing your hand in nice warm water, play in that water for a minute , then dry the hands... it already easier, now get a big tall glass of ice water and drink as much of it as you can at once. Now a big deep breath and you're ok again. Don't forget to find some humor. Quitting doesn't have to be hard just cause they say it's hard, it's easy with some humor. And be kind to yourself. You are breaking a 40 year habit. something you have done many times - takes some thought. You can do this. I smoked for 38 yrs, I've been free now for 3yrs.

[lisalhh]

I used to say my husband is the best quitter in the world because he used to try quitting more than anyone I knew! Unfortunately, he never was able to succeed. Then he got really sick (not from cigs), and nicotine did, in fact, contribute to his death. I'm not trying to scare you. Seven or eight years after he died, I picked up the stupid habit myself. It was never a heavy habit, but I am/was addicted.

Everyone here was lost in the cigarette jungle at one time, and it took many of us more than one try to find our way out.

You need to look at your failures positively. Learn something from them. Figure out why all those attempts did not work for you so you won't be doomed to repeat those mistakes.

Each person's quit is personal. No one makes the same journey. There are many great tools here on this site. The most important tool (at least for me) is the people.

I tried using the tools. They didn' work. I left the site for a while and tryied on my own. I got down to one to three cigs a week. My pulmonologist was happy with my progress. However, my husband's many failures taught me that until your quit is complete, a person will probably escalate their habit until they find themselves back to the point at which they started.

I came up with my own quit plan. Many Exers bashed me! Others had their doubts but wished me luck anyway. I had to defend myself, which made me think about what I was doing. These people made me realize I was on the right path because I tailored it to my own personality, making allowances for my own weaknesses.

 Now, I'm closing in on the end of my quit. My doctor decided part of my plan included using Chantix. Many people can't use it because of its many side effects. Anyway, I decided to titrate myself off the drug after 2 1/2 months. I haven't had a pill for two or three days, and I haven't had a cig for nearly three months now. I will always think about how hard that nicotine grabs on, and that I never want to go back there.

Before I close, let me comment on the fact you said you stopped using alcohol and drugs, yet you are unable to quit cigarettes. FACT: It is harder to quit using cigarettes than it is to stop using heroin! So, don't be so down on yourself. You can't quit everything at once - you'll piss off your body, and it will retaliate. Seems to me you've made some great personal strides. Now, there's only one left. When you are ready, you'll quit. So, ARE YOU READY? This seems to be your last step, but it is the hardest one.

[elvan]

Pretty powerful lisalhh‌ congratulations on your quit!

[lisalhh]

I feel I'm still a newbie and don't feel I've quite made it yet. We'll see how things go after I'm off the Chantix for at least a month. Even then, I think I'll always be watching my back.

But thanks so much. Those "warm fuzzies" feel good!

[elvan]

lisalhh‌ I have been quit for over three years,,,I can guarantee that I will always be watching my back.  That's why, after all this time, I still come to EX every day that I can.  I can always learn from others, I felt like a newbie for a LONG time.  It's always good to get some "warm fuzzies."  

Ellen

[lisalhh]

I'm just the opposite. I try to not think of smoking, so I don't come here very often. It's true. You never know when you're gonna learn something new or from whom. Plus, it feels good to give back and teach somebody something you've learned along the way - especially the real newbies who feel so lost.

[Thomas3.20.2010]

You have absolutely Excellent  advice! One thing I would add is to be careful how you "speak" to yourself. You will believe every word you "say!" An important skill to learn is to stop talking and listening to Addictive Think! When you use the word "try" for EXample, you are leaving open the possibility for failure. With Smoking Cessation - Failure is not an Option! You can decide to Succeed and then convince yourself that you believe it!

Thoughts are not commands - they're just thoughts! You can let them come and go. When you don't hook into a thought and build it into a narrative it peters out. Hook into positive thoughts about your New Life Smoke FREE - build up that narrative - nurture it! It will grow and so will you!

Neurolinguistics. Complicated science made simple and practical.