I am not slinking away with my tail between my legs!!

[JRC]

Thank you for all your love, support and encouragement. This is said with deep feeling that doesn't show in the black and white. It is not in my nature to give up on anything that is so important to me.

Over the past 3 years, I have had to be in such control, no matter what, to do what I have to do. This past weekend it seemed that I was inundated with things I couldn't control. My mind then led me ( I let it) to feelings of grief for what my life was going to be, of guilt for feeling that way and of hopelessness for the foreverness of it. My head and my heart seem to work in different planes.

The past 3 years I have been on auto pilot to deal with what I needed to deal with. I am looking forward to my appt. next week withthe psychologist. I am hoping for the "click" between us to provide positive outcomes. I selected her based on issues she dealt with- stress, anxiety, elder, caregiver burnout. At least on paper that is a good fit.

[Tommy2]

JRC, I'm new here and just read your blog ... good luck with your appt.   I hope it helps you.   Just remember, this too shall pass!  

Tom

[cookie804]

JRC I am here for you. I also am going to a therapist who has helped me tremendously deal with issues from my past. I have had a lot of physical and mental abuse since I was a young child. The only advise that I can give you is to be totally open and honest and tell all. I had to share some things that I had hidden deep within me becasue it was too hurtful and I didn't want to deal with it.  I just got out of a verbally abusive marriage and now with counseling, I am healing and dealing with things.

Just know I am here if you care to chat.

God bless

Carolyn

[karen230]

I am so glad you are seeking help. Hang on. It does get better.

((((((Hugs)))))))))

[annb]

JRC. Sending a big (((Hug))) So many things you have said resonated deeply in my spirit. I think we've trod very similar paths. Yes, you hold your head up high and please give yourself credit for all you've already overcome!!! You will overcome this set back in your quit as well!

[promise_judy]

I am soooo sorry you are going thru so much. I know it is because of all the confusion you are going thru right now--so hang in there. Remember to give yourself permission to heal the pain. It can be both good and bad to go to someone about all your problems, but nevertheless you must do what is best for you. Let us know if we can help--we would be honored to be there for you--because you are a true friend and we know you would do the same for anyone of us.

XOXO

[marilyn_marmac]

  Auto Pilot and   your personal strength is exactly how you've been able to hold strong as long as you have! I'm sorry you will have to restart your quit. At the same time, I know you can and will so don't stress over it. I'm just happy you decided to see a psychologist. You need to be able to talk about all the changes that have come about in your life. Being the care giver on a 24/7 basis is hard enough, but it's so much more than that! Everything, from the life you had planned with your husband to your ability to have a full life for yourself changed with the stroke. It's hard to discuss all the feelings we have with our loved ones. People sometimes feel quilt or feel as if they are being selfish when they shouldn't! You are not weak, you have a heavy burden my friend and you know I'm talking to you from both sides of the coin.

  I waited a couple of years before I sought out help, I wish I had found it much sooner, and it really did make a difference. I was lucky, I felt at ease with the 1st doctor I visited. That's not always the case so If you don't feel a connection, don't hesitate to find another one.

  Now a question. Have you considered discussing therapy for your husband as well? One in four stroke survivors experience   PTSD following a stroke. I was one of them! And while I didn't know it at the time, I realize the majority of the stroke patients that I shared Physical and   Occupational therapy sessions with were also suffering from PTSD. I think it's especially true for men. There are probably many thoughts and emotions that your husband keeps hidden inside 😞 If so, he may cover them with anger, which only makes life harder for you.

  My thoughts and prayers are with both of you.

[LouiseR]

Here for you in anyway I can be!

[Ms.J_11-10-2013]

We are all here for you.  Take the strength that is sent your way and re start this quit... You have proven you can do it- so come -  take my hand and lets get this new quit rolling.  Lets see how many hands we can grasp on the way!!

xoxox

Jackie

[marilyn_marmac]

Here's mine

[Deena-A-Yenni]

My hand is extended is anyway that I can help.

[lindan_7-14-10]

♥♥♥

[cheyenne7]

I'm glad you are going to be able to talk to someone about all of this.....that is so wise of you....

You bet you don't give up.....someone who gives up wouldn't seek help, someone who gives up wouldn't come here and share either.....

No, I can see that you don't give up......be very proud of that......you have been thru a lot....we can never predict how the next chapter of our lives will be, but for certain, you are giving this next chapter a great chance of improvement by speaking to a trained therapist....

I admire you....and I am and will continue to send positive light your way....

Take good care of you too......Hugs ❤️

[jeanne-8-4-13]

I, too have been on the other side of the fence. When I had mmy stroke I had alot of anger, " The why me" Just hank in there, pray alot and come here a pour your guts out if you need to. I probably should have sought professional help, but I didnot, my choosing. I hope you are smarter than that. Keep your head held high, and if you need a friend come here and blog or send a message. We are all here for you.

                                   Jeanne

[Strudel]

Janet - I missed your other blog - I am so sorry. You have stumbled.....you will get back to it - I have no doubt of that. I will say the sooner, the better. Please!!

I am so glad you made this appointment. I know it will help. (Been there - and I know it helped me.) 

Please consider getting back to your quit - and move forward with this appointment. Keep us posted dear lady! 

Kathy

[Barbara145]

Here is my hand.  So sorry for your troubles.  Life can be tough.  Grieve your losses but count your blessings.  Love and prayers.

[Jaxson1-16-14]

Sending you HUGE HUGS and here is my hand.