I just celebrated 5 months of being smoke free. (Yeah!) A couple of months ago one of the (what I consider) cornerstones of the EX asked me to help reach out to the newbies who were just coming onto the site. I was surprised. I said “thank you, but I don’t think I’m qualified to offer help…I’m too new!” I had noticed people coming to the site and having 1-3 days of their quit telling some “newer newbie” what to do. I believe that when we are on this journey our #1 priority is to learn and absorb what we need to be to become and stay smoke free. I believe that when someone turns their focus to telling others what they need to do they are avoiding their own “stuff”. Then when a crave, a trigger, a romance comes along they are left “tool-less” because they have focused on dispensing rather than absorbing.
Can newer people help/teach/support others? OH MY GOODNESS YES. But it is because they are sharing part of their journey, not focusing on how to teach others.
Over the time I’ve been here I’ve noticed that many of the newer ones who dispense don’t last as long here.
I’m a visual person and the picture I get when I think of those folks is a bright flash of light that fizzles out and then disappears.
I don’t want to fizzle out…..if I am to help others as I help myself I would like to be that steady, soft, dependable light that will help someone find their way to their forever quit!
I have 158 days of Freedom!
Sharon