Hi everyone! I am so excited to have found this group and wanted to share my story for some needed support for my upcoming quit on Monday.
I have always hated smoking because I grew up with it all around me and was always embarrassed about smelling like smoke from the home I grew up in. I was/am also an athlete and into a life of health and wellness and became a functional health practitioner as an adult, so for me to have started smoking, is such an irony in my world! That led me to be a closet smoker. I didn't start until I was 50! I have been smoking for going on six years.
I started after going through three years of trauma. Going through a very public divorce, losing my grandmother, my mom, and my step dad, moving across the country by myself, and having a son who was trapped in drugs and alcohol, led me to finding an escape. Tried it once and I was hooked!
I have quit a million times like most of us, but have not been successful.
This time around, I brought my husband, my three best friends, and my sister into the mix for support (they were all shocked and actually pretty hurt from all the hiding - I got really good at it - UGH!) I have joined this community, put all my distractions into place, figured out my triggers, ordered all the supplements that can help with withdrawls, and got some medical aids.
I have worked diligently through the why I am smoking, and now seems like it is just a bad habit that needs to go bye bye! I am all over the place with emotions. Excited for this new journey and accountability, but fearful of failing yet again, letting both myself and others around me down, knowing how much of a battle it is, AND kind of sad because I honestly LIKE it!
The part I hate the most is that I know all the reasons it is horrible for you. I flipping do this for a living. BUT, I am trying to move on from beating myself up to concentrating on the future when I can look in the rear view mirror seeing VICTORY!
I welcome any support because I NEED IT!
