Hi Everybody,
I have not been on this site in a very long time. I've been reading the posts and its good for me to see the struggles of the newcomers as this addiction to nicotine is cunning, baffling and powerful. All it takes is one puff to knock you out of recovery. A lot has happened since my quit. I have two new knees, a fused foot and ankle (tweaked a second time) my hubby has two new knees too. My parents are no longer living down the street from me and are now staying with my sister in Indiana.
All I need to do is look at my 80+ year old mom and that sustains my quit. She cannot breathe without help from oxygen and various breathing treatments. She is frail, thin, has no interest in life other than using her oxygen, and nebulizer. Believe it or not she still SMOKES! You would think that not being able to breathe from emphysema, COPD and congestive heart failure would cause you to pause and examine your choices and stop using the very thing initiating the illnesses. NO! After a stint in the hospital for a month with no cigarettes, the first thing she did upon release was light up. The saddest part about this whole thing is that when she was first diagnosed with emphysema she warned me to stop smoking because she did it to her self. Then she would hide her cigarettes from my dad and smoke. I am sad. I am powerless over her addiction and what my sister allows in her home.
Everyday that I am clean from nicotine is a day to be grateful and rejoice that I can breathe with no issues, no artificial help. It's truly a gift! No longer do I have to be filled with anxiety over how many cigarettes are left in my pack, the price jacking up, where the cherry to my cigarette flew, where my lighter is. Today, I am free from this nonsensical habit. What I thought use to help relieve pain, chaos and anxiety was really a culprit in making it worse.
The past few years I have continued recovery working on my mental, emotional, spiritual and physical transformation utilizing the 12 steps, serenity prayer, slogans, books, groups, people, sponsor, physical activities and renovating our home - one day at a time. I am truly blessed to have so many tools in my tool box.
It's been a while since I've blogged and I couldn't figure out how at first. I need to make time to explore this site more and stay in touch with YOU as that is how I was able to stay quit the very first year which was the hardest. I lived on this site the first days, weeks and months. I cannot take my quit for granted.
Happy New Year to All of You Ex Ville Peeps. Sending you blessings, prayers and good vibes on your continued efforts to stay quit.
Love
Jooch
