The last time that I wrote a blog, I wrote all about guilt and shame. I'm not going to write about that, because even though I may feel those things, I know that smoking isn't a moral failing on my part and something that I have to flog myself over. It's really pretty simple, I decided to pick up a cigarette when I was 15 years old and have been a slave to nictotine off and ever since. I just have to see it clearly for what it is, an addiction that I have to cut ties with. I'm not going to look back and lament the fact that I quit for 307 days and then blew it. That is over and done with.
Tomorrow is Valentines day and that is the last day I will smoke in honor of the love and adoration I have for my little girls. I have three daughters that look up to me and watch everything I do and I will be damned if I dissapoint them again with this and let them down. When they found out I was smoking again this time, they all cried, and broke my heart. I have to do this for my heart and theirs. I may not do a lot else right in my life right now, but this is the one thing that I am going to get right.
I just want to thank you all, so so so much for not giving up on me and for posting on my message board and sending me private messages even when I didn't respond. This community kicks ass and it's what kept me smoke-free last time. xxxooo
