Help me with this one please!

[sweetvictory]

I woke up this morning feeling great until my boyfriend grown daughter once again wanted to use my car! I am getting so sick of this, she has been living with us for 5 mos now. She is 23 years old with a son who is 15 mos. who i love very much,  The deal was we would help her until she can get her own place and a car. She has done nothing to move forward., she is always shopping and buying stupid stuff, just becasue she can...She has no car and depends on me and her dad. As far as the baby she is always looking for someone to watch him.  the babys dad has him every weekend and  she is gone all weekend out with friends. we don't even see her...Last night she came in after getting her baby around 5:30 at night from daycare, said to me and phil (her dad) i need the keys to someones car and for you to watch miles, because she had somewhere she had to go, I was sick with a head cold and did not feel like babysitting at all! errrrrrrrrr I am so mad right now, i could go on and on, Now this moring phil comes up to me and says, angs needs to use your car this morning! keep in mind this girl does NOTHING aroudn the house to help! She dont even cook for her baby, lazy lazy lazy drives me nuts! I just dont understand why her parents dont put their foot down! nothing like being used up! I just want 20 packs of ciggs right now!  any ideas on how to handle this grown women who dont seems to want to grow up! and how to tell her NO i dont want you to use my car anymore! matter of fact i would like for you to step up and help  around this house, save your money and get your own car and place..... and take care and spend some time with YOUR baby!

[JoAnne5-14-2008]

Whatever you do, DON'T SMOKE.  You smoking will not solve your problem.  You will feel guilty afterwards. 

[ryman471]

i would say exactly what you wrote in the last few sentances. i know i wouldnt put up with that BS. but either way, one thing that is a fact, smoking one pack, one cig, or one puff will not make anything better  and will only make you angrier afterwards. bumps in the road; we will all have them, with or without the cancer sticks.

[maggie_8-1-2010]

I'm with JoAnne!  Don't let this be an excuse to smoke. you quit, remember!  Smoking is no longer an option. Plus I wouldn't give the young lady the satisfaction - lol.

As for the other issues - Sounds like you need to try a little tough love. Best wishes - I know you are frustrated.  ((Hugs))

[jawidge]

I have a 19 yr old son that  drove me to smoke, with pretty much the same  useless and ungrateful behavior.  His bahavior has not changed much, but I don't go light up about it anymore. I'm doing the best I can with him, but I'm doing the best I can with myself!  Say or do whatever you must to protect your quit.    George

[laurie37]

I agree with protect your quit! But I also think you need to talk to your husband about your feelings towards his daughter. HE needs to do something about it. 🙂

(((HUGS)))

Laurie

[Rick_M]

Don't let her get to you Gail. Cigarettes never fixed nothing, do not smoke.

 Time for some tough love and your BF needs to help dish it out with you. 

[Patty70]

Gail, I have been in your shoes. By that I mean that I am an enabler. I struggle even today with my 23 year old son. I think I am making things easier for him, but in fact, these kinds of things help him perpetuate bad habits and behaviors.   I am sure you understand that every time you give your car keys to this girl, you are enabling her bad acts.  Give her a drop dead deadline for living with you. If your partner loves you he will work with you on this. Cut off any financial assistance.  There are all kinds of help groups with co-dependency. Check them out, and good luck.

[drifter]

Don't be afraid to establish boundaries and to say no to her or anyone else in your life. If you don't want to do something then don't. When you stand up for yourself it is the most empowering feeling. You are not responsible to care for her or her child. If you do give in then you only have yourself to blame. It's up to you! I understand it can be difficult but just like you are quitting cigarettes, quit being taken advantage of and feeling sorry for yourself. Taking care of yourself is your priority!

[kat72]

Gail, I reread your blog and you sound like you have your hands full with your boyfriend's daughter. I think you need to sit down with him and  figure out what HE is going to do with her...before it ruins your relationship with him. As far as your quit.....stay with it!! You are doing great. Going back to smoking will not make the situation any different.

Kat

[sweetvictory]

thanks for all of your comments and you are all right!  Man this morning was ruff, i dont think i have wanted to smoke sence i quite, so bad as i did this morning.   I need to put my foot down, and I will, as for the smoking I have not smoked not even one puff in 15 days and I am going to stick with it, I just got off the phone with 1800 no butts, and they are going to help me get my gum paid for  through my insurance,  so thats some good news.... 🙂 I am in it to win it this time around! Thanks for all your support! It really does help keep my eyes on beating this addiction.