Hello everybody!
So, I have not been here for a while but I have been doing good. I have definitely been taking things day by day because somedays, I feel fantastic like I am ontop of the world and I can accomplish anything and then others, I feel like the scum under a river rock, but through it all, I am succeeding. I have not had a cigarette. I am getting close to the three week mark and I have to say that I am so happy that I have such a huge support system. It has what has gotten me through the hard times. So many people that I do not even know stand by me because of their own struggles and stories and I feel like I am not alone in this fight against addiction and that makes me feel grateful if not totally blessed.
So, besides my introductory, I have been changing little things, trying to keep on track, while also deciding that I want to go back to college. I do not know if I wrote about that in my last post however, I feel it important to mention (even again.). I do have my fears about going back to college though. I mean for one I am 31 or almost thirty one. I have my birthday next month in fact. I just feel that sometimes I am too old to go back to college, that I will be to old to persue a new career. That, and this one may sound vain, but I am afraid that if I do, that I will be to old and no one will want me because I will be in my late thirties. Maybe it's just a typical woman's fear on that last idea but hey I am honest! But I really feel like I would enjoy college this time because I am going for something that I WANT to do not something because it makes a family member happy. Oh and I want to go for criminal justice and I WANT a bachleors.
Another thing that I have been doing is eating better and drinking more water although this one is eluding me a little bit. I always try and drink water because soda is extra calories and I quit caffeine outright and I don't drink it anymore instead relying on things like orange juice for a little pep. I am very happy I quit ceffiene because the headaches were HORRIBLE! (I get very bad caffeine headaches). But I am trying to keep with it, also eating better. Past few days, I have feel off a little bit but I do not give up on it. I try my damndest because I know that you encounter a few bumps on the way and I am doing very good, so I am going to keep it up! Plus I feel better when I eat healthy and I bought some vitamins just for extra nourishment in case I am not getting enough of something.
Another thought is that I am saving money for a car because at 31 I finally NEED one. Yes, Yes I know what you are thinking 31 and no car? Yes, for a while it was just I lived so close to everyone and always got a ride from everybody and plus, I also was scared to drive for a long time because I got into an accident as a passanger and even though I had to have therapy on my shoulder, nothing to serious at all really, I still was really freaked out and let that control me for so long but now, I am definitely ready to get past all that. I need my freedom. Cannot believe I survived this long without one!
Phew, that was certainly a little bit, but I am happy to post. Sorry Puff about not writing yesterday. I am a manager at walmart and the holidays are very rough oh boy! I have a twelve hour shift on thursday yikes! But I will be okay. Just going to be freaky busy again. I will write again soon everyone. I hope everyone is having a great smoke free day and enjoying life and if you are struggling, REACH OUT! ❤️
B
