Hate/Hate Relationship

[gnatilly05]

And...  positive spin not very effective right now.  Starting to think a dual quit with DH maybe not a great idea.

Picture:  Me sitting in the basement laundry room typing this.  Because that is what is happening.  We have been fighting since last night, and the condesencion dripping from his face is starting to really get on my nerves.  I have been trying to stay calm and talk about how I am feeling with him.  And he replies with the most condescending, hurtful shit in the world.  So I was letting it roll off, but I am having a hell of a time right now.  Feeling very alone.  

[smorgy8513]

We're here.    Short of slapping him along side his head....what can we do?

[gnatilly05]

IDK - just rying to stay away from him right now.  Tryong to tell myself it is both of our withdrawals that are making it so hard.  But i think maybe these are always problems that I usually can avoid by going out to smoke.  

[sharon110]

Your in MI, like me. I am in Southeastern MI pretty darn close to Metro Airport. I am sorry you have to go through this mess. The avoidance is probably a good idea. Just don't even consider a cigarette, but you know, it won't help.

I quit in July, I am quite happy to be over the rough part, it is maintenance from here on out. I am not sure if you will experience this or not, but since July I have found the need to quit quite a few things. Cigarettes tend to mask or hide what the real trouble is...Not that this is your case, but I see things much clearer now.

You will get through this....

[smorgy8513]

Venting can help.  And you are probably right, this would have been the time you would have smoked.....but, guess what?    You don't do that anymore!     What else can you do?   Where's you list of distractions?

[moody_9-18-13]

Leave now. Go for a drive, take a walk, go visit a friend, go shopping, but go away, wipe you face and go. I quit with my DH also and we made a deal, neither of us would "discuss" smoking with one another. YOU are doing this for YOURSELF, not for HIM. OK?

[gnatilly05]

Upstairs.   Right now im just going online and im here and im trying to let it just roll off but damnit - i am really hurt!  The way he's talking to me.....!  Trying to play my online games and I am just really upset.  So i think i'll just let myself be upset for a bit.  And that won't last forever.  so maybe then i'll drink some water and take a long hot shower.  after that, maybe things will feel more tolerable.  Hope so.  Thanks for being here - as i signed on I was praying someone would hear me.  

[gnatilly05]

Moody - thank you - exactly what I needed to hear.  Not for him.  

[jeanne-8-4-13]

Just remember, if you need us we are all here

[JonesCarpeDiem]

Its a roller coaster for the first 2-3 weeks.

You might tell him that

and the only way out is through

[moody_9-18-13]

My DH had a tougher time being nice than I did when we quit, so when he was acting like a nasty little brat (yes, he did and this man is 65 years young, but old enough to know better) I figured out his blood sugar level was wacked, so I made sure we ate small "meals" all day, lots of snacks and cranberry juice helps. So, we decided we would not discuss how we felt with one another. As I just told you, YOU are quitting for YOURSELF, this is not about HIM. Get a hot shower and go for a walk. Take your camera with you and take pictures of just random things. It's fun, it's also something I'd never done before...I used to take a walk and smoke the whole time, never actually taking in the beauty of nature until now.

[wishingstar]

Be proud of your self for dealing  with anger and hurts feelings. its a victory annd each thing new you do smoke free is a small victory.  

[jojo_2-24-11]

It's always a good idea to quit and having a quitting partner under the same roof! Arguements will happen and then we make-up and get over it. Don't loose a quit because of how others treat you, this is their problem, not yours. Take a long brisk walk, sometimes we need to do things differently to make it work.

[IrishRose]

You are not alone; you have us.  YAY!!!!  Just ignore the partner.  You have an awesome quit to protect.  Focus on you, because you are the only one who has control over you.  Keep up the good work.

[lois2]

over the last 10 days my husband would say things i  would cry. this is nic. way of getting you back he will do any thing .

[dalichild]

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=boI_vLj4nG0

that is a link for how to make foam boffer swords.  MAKE 2!!! then you and your hubby can take up a new hobby in the back yard.  it will do you both a WORLD of good