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Goodbye Letter

xjamarkx
Member
15 31 1,559

I may want to add things to this later, so there may be updates on it every now and then...


Dear Nicotine (Smoking and Cigarettes),

After I took a puff of you 12 years ago, just one puff, and you talked me into allowing you to stay. You are manipulative and conceited. I’m sick and tired of you running my life! My “life”, if you want to call it that, has been put on hold too many times, because YOU said to me, “let’s have a smoke”.

Are you aware that you’ve ruined my health? Well, you did. Sure, talk me into letting you stay with me, and that’s how you repay me? What about dad… didn’t you kill him as well?

You are a murderer, and have been since you were invented. You are a liar, and the Father of it too. You know what? I bet you’ve destroyed my mind more than I think you have. You are a sly little demon. I loathe you: everything you’ve done to me, mom, dad and anyone else who has had the misfortune of meeting you. I don’t want to hear from you ever again. You come knocking on my inner door, and you are had! I will not take this abuse from you any more. And yeah, I do have friends and others who were abused by you as well. That, Nicotine, does not go over well with me. Remember the first lie ever told? The first temptation? (According to the Holy Bible, at least). Eve spoke back to the serpent. IMO, she should have never spoke back to it. And that’s how I feel about you, Nicotine! When you say “let’s go smoke”, I will ignore you. I will not give you the pleasure and power over me, ever again. You may think you have me bound forever in your chains, but you are terribly mistaken. The first temptation: (which has been repeated innumerable times)

“Now the serpent was more subtil than any beast of the field which the Lord God had made. And he said unto the woman, Yea, hath God said, Ye shall not eat of every tree of the garden?

And the woman said unto the serpent, We may eat of the fruit of the trees of the garden:

But of the fruit of the tree which is in the midst of the garden, God hath said, Ye shall not eat of it, neither shall ye touch it, lest ye die.

And the serpent said unto the woman, Ye shall not surely die:

For God doth know that in the day ye eat thereof, then your eyes shall be opened, and ye shall be as gods, knowing good and evil.

And when the woman saw that the tree was good for food, and that it was pleasant to the eyes, and a tree to be desired to make one wise, she took of the fruit thereof, and did eat, and gave also unto her husband with her; and he did eat.

And the eyes of them both were opened, and they knew that they were naked; and they sewed fig leaves together, and made themselves aprons”

Eve must have heard it from Adam, but Eve added something to it that Adam wasn’t told. “Neither shall ye touch it”. That wasn’t what Adam heard! So when she not only engages in conversation with the evil, then adds something to it. She was setting herself up for not being able to resist temptation.

the woman saw that the tree was good for food, and that it was pleasant to the eyes, and a tree to be desired to make one wise,…”

That right there is the whole problem. To sum up evil in a few words, “Lust of the flesh (tree good for food), lust of the eyes (it was pleasant to the eyes), and the pride of life (a tree to be desired to make one wise” . I didn’t mean to write a Bible study here, but mistakes that are not learned the first time are doomed to happen again. Ecc. 3:15 says That which hath been is now; and that which is to be hath already been; and God requireth that which is past. History is ALWAYS repeating itself.

And if I do not learn the truth about you and how you operate, then I am still in bondage to you. But once I am free, I will have broken the ties, and possibly history won’t repeat itself. I’ve been in time loops before; that’s also how you work. You work with Time itself. I won’t be your slave any longer. I will set myself free. And when I do, the moment I do, I may want to banish you to eternal time loops, with no way out. You can feed off yourself, and see how you like it. Depart from me, Nicotine. I never knew you.

Alex

P.S. Nicotine, you remind me of this:

The Snake" by Al Wilson (1968):

On her way to work one morning Down the path along side the lake A tender hearted woman saw a poor half frozen snake His pretty colored skin had been all frosted with the dew "Poor thing," she cried, "I'll take you in and I'll take care of you" "Take me in tender woman Take me in, for heaven's sake Take me in, tender woman," sighed the snake

She wrapped him all cozy in a comforter of silk And laid him by her fireside with some honey and some milk She hurried home from work that night and soon as she arrived She found that pretty snake she'd taken to had bee revived "Take me in, tender woman Take me in, for heaven's sake Take me in, tender woman," sighed the snake

She clutched him to her bosom, "You're so beautiful," she cried "But if I hadn't brought you in by now you might have died" She stroked his pretty skin again and kissed and held him tight Instead of saying thanks, the snake gave her a vicious bite "Take me in, tender woman Take me in, for heaven's sake Take me in, tender woman," sighed the snake "I saved you," cried the woman "And you've bitten me, but why? You know your bite is poisonous and now I'm going to die" "Oh shut up, silly woman," said the reptile with a grin "You knew damn well I was a snake before you took me in "Take me in, tender woman Take me in, for heaven's sake Take me in, tender woman," sighed the snake

 

 

31 Comments
constanceclum
Member

Very good!

Connie

elvan
Member

Wow, that was pretty intense, to say the least.  I am impressed.

Ellen

xjamarkx
Member

Wow thanks! I just put my very ALL into it; all the things I would say if the nicotine was a person harming me. It's really destroyed mom and dad, and I do not want to be in that same situation. Mom will walk from the living room to my room, and she gets out of breath. Watching her trying to catch her breath breaks my heart so bad - then depression comes. When I think of these things, I get very angry because, well, I know it was mom, dad and myself's choice and decision to pick up a cig and smoke it, but the effects are evil - tears up your body in more ways than anything else... and I miss dad. I wish he was still alive.

elvan
Member

Like your mother...I get short of breath walking from one place to another.  It is not something I can reverse but it IS something I can try to slow the progression of...not smoking and taking care of myself are the only things I can do now.  

Jaime561
Member

My dear friend Vape, 

You really took over my life and I want it back. My body is definitely not what it was before you and I need that back.

Barbscloud
Member

@Jaime561 Glad you found the site. There are lot old posts with great information, but I caution you to check the date.  Your post may not be seen or responded to by current participants.  We don't want you to go without support.  Please consider posting to Journal/Blog to introduce yourself and receive lot of support from fellow quitters.

  Great good-bye letter to get you started on your journey.  Use this time to education yourself about nicotine addiction and create a quit plan.  Many have found success with knowledge and preparation.   It took me 50 years and many attempts to finally get it. I went into my quits blindly and was never successful.  In addiction to some aids, I found the Ex a week prior to my quit.  For the first time I learned how to quit and had the support that was always lacking.

This link is a great place to start.

https://www.becomeanex.org/guides/?cid=footer_community_linktobex

Make the commitment and you can do this too.  We're here to support you on your journey.  So reach out anytime you need help, want to share your experience or to support fellow quitters. We're all in this together.

Look forward to celebrating with you on the 15th.  In the meantime do lots of reading and stay close.

Barb

LaLuSa3
Member

xjamarkx,

I really did enjoy reading all you wrote. Your depiction of the garden scene from the Bible followed scripture very well, but there is 1 very big aspect of that scene that you are not fully correct or educated on my man (and ABSOLUTELY no disrespect intended or meant herein sir).

Eve (Adam as well) was always going to eat of the fruit of the tree of the knowledge of good and evil. So that we could/would truly come to know the fullness of God's love for us each and every one, through Christ Jesus. Through one death entered, and in The One salvation is found.

bodiddycarrie
Member

I have enjoyed reading this article about how quickly my body will appreciate it when I quit smoking and I really want to better my chances to live a longer life healthier 

Barbscloud
Member

@bodiddycarrie Welcome to the Ex.  Congrats on 23 days of success.  Please consider creating your own post at My Journal/Blog to introduce yourself to the community and receive support with your quit.

This might give you some added motivation.

Barbscloud_0-1689947609963.png

 

 

Barb

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Blakerer1
Member

I can relate to Eve in the Garden. I comes to lie and offer nothing but slavery to the action of…… even a thought. Jesus came to give life and more abundantly. I choose life! 

Tiggs16
Member

Do write for a living, definitely had the hook!

mabed88
Member

kudos

mabed88
Member

kudos

so0013
Member

Congratulations!

Jbarry1207
Member

Powerful! Best of luck!!

Barbscloud
Member

@Jbarry1207 Welcome to the Ex and congrats on your decision to quit.

No matter how you choose to quit, cold turkey or with aids, it's important to  educate yourself about nicotine addiction and have a quit plan. Many have found success with knowledge and preparation. It took me 50 years and many attempts to finally get it. I went ino my quits blindly and was never successful. In addition to some aids for my final quit, I found the Ex a week prior to my quit. For the first time I learned how to quit and had the support that was always lacking.

This link is a great place to start.
https://www.becomeanex.org/guides/?cid=footer_community_linktobex

Make the commitment and you can do this too. We're here to support you on your journey. So reach out anytime you need help, want to share your experience or to support fellow quitters. We're all in this together.

Start your day by taking the Daily Pledge. It's a great way to stay on track on day at a time.


Consider creating your own post to My Journal/Blog to introduce yourself to the community and receive some well deserve support.


Stay busy and stay close.

Barb

Jbarry1207
Member

Thank you so much!

DennisConner
Member

Dear nicotine;

From the beginning of our relationship I’ve given you everything.  Showered you with money, any time you wanted something, you got it.  I’ve walked away from friends, chosen you over family.  I’ve even laid down my very health and years of my life to lay with you and know your sweet kiss.

It was all give on my end. All you do is take. Even your sweetness is only a selfish design to hook me in deeper and kill every other joy in my life.  You brought me isolation from people, 10-day colds, wheezing, financial stress, bad breath an B.O. even though you kept me from smelling it myself.  Essentially you made me look foolish in front of others.  You’ve kept me from being productive at work and in my life.  
I’VE WASTED SO MUCH TIME!

For all my remaining years I’m going to make my life have more meaning than just living for our next rondevouz.  

The day I left it was like ripping my skin off. It hurt so much, but I could immediately tell that I was free now to choose to go for a walk, do a few push ups, feed some ducks in the park, and see more clearly what I want to do with my life.

 

You are a smothering, lying, deceitful whore in the truest sense of the word!  You offer only the illusion of happiness and pleasure of life.  It’s all fake. All you want is to get paid.  And in the end, you waste a man’s life away, because he will never even search for a happy life if he’s always occupied with your cheap thrills.  

So when you show up on my doorstep at 2am offering a quickie, know that I see right through your sorry existence, and from me the only thing you’ll get is a reminder of the wretched woman that you are and the misery you bring, which is your true price. 

Good Bye.

PS  No, I will recommend any friends to you.  In fact, I had better not see you nor anyone of your friends mingling with my friends or I will expose you to anyone who will listen

 

Barbscloud
Member

@DennisConner A good-by letter is a great way to keep your quit on track.  I see you've been reading lots of posts on the site.  Keep reading and posting. There's lots of great information and support here.

Am I correct?  You have 62 days of success already. That's fabulous.

Have you read about No Man's Land?  It always pays to remain vigilant.

No Mans Land Days 30 to 130 (approximate) - EX Community

Consider joining many of us on the Daily Pledge to stay on track one day at a time.   If you need support, just reach out anytime.

Stay close and stay busy.

Barb

.

 

DennisConner
Member

@Barbscloud @Thanks for the link. I read it and I think I’m on the tail end of NML. I took Chantix for 60 days.  The article describes well the feeling of accomplishment each night.  When I stopped taking Chantix, some urges eased back in after a few days, and the newness of the battle wasn’t egging me on the same way. The mind wants to find a way to maintain a ‘healthy relationship’ with smoking, but that doesn’t exist.  I find excercise helps so much. It replaces the self destructive tendency with an action of caring for myself, and building a better future for a better me.  My actual day count is more like 72.  I’m not going back.  But I look forward to better , more relaxed days.

Barbscloud
Member

@DennisConner  I was going by the date on the Ex site. that lists  a quit date of 10-1.  So that's even better.  Congrats on 72 days!

Exercise is great for quitting.  Many quitters uses walking  to refocus their  thoughts and get that added boost of dopamine that's diminished when we eliminate nicotine.  Add a dog to the mix and it's even better.

Barb

 

Darrenh98
Member

That was a lot but true

Nathanuel
Member

Very good

DGerdes
Member

Ready, been a long time and ready to quit-goodbye to smoking 

travelchik
Member

Thank you for sharing.  I love the fact that you reminded me that ALL things are possible through Jesus Christ that gives ME the strength. I can do ALL things only through HIM!!!

 

SuzyQ411
Member

@xjamarkx  @travelchik @Blakerer1 @LaLuSa3  and anyone else who may be interested, there is a private site set apart for those who would welcome spiritual input and support as you undertake or continue your journey as a non-user of nicotine. If interested, click on this link for directions on joining; hope to see you there!

https://excommunity.becomeanex.org/t5/Faith-Spirituality/gh-p/spiritual-quitters-

CC:  @Biscuit  @Maki

mcclellangaines

thanks for sharing

MerleOran
Member

I have quit you several times, but this time I am going to make it for good! Smoking is so hard to give up, but should be easy when we know what it is doing to our health. I have let cigarettes control me for probably 60 years, I look forward to saying good-bye on the 24th!

Barbscloud
Member

@MerleOran Welcome to the ex and congrats on your upcoming quit. Use this time to learn about nicotine addiction and have a plan in place that includes tools to use, how to cope with cravings, and create new associations to replace smoking.  Read lots of material on the site:

https://www.becomeanex.org/guides/?cid=footer_community_linktobex

And, join many of us on the Daily Pledge to stay on track one day at a time.  We're here cheering you on, so reach out anytime we can help.

Please consider creating you own post at My Journal/Blog to introduce yourself to the community and receive support from fellow quitters.  When I found the Ex I learned how to quit for the first time after 50 years and how invaluable support is for a successful quit.

Stay busy and stay close.

Barb

 

SuzyQ411
Member

Welcome to the Ex @MerleOran ~ We share an addiction history as I was a heavy chain smoker for more than 60 years with a history of many failed quit attempts. But FINALLY I will be 21 months totally free of nicotine once tonight hits midnight! Has it been easy? Not always. Has i t been worth it? Definitely: I no longer need the 3 daily inhalers I had used for years, and I have not had a COPD flare-up since I quit cigarettes on June 1, 2022. So I just wanted to share that it really is possible to become nicotine-free, even for people like you and me who have smoked for six decades (or even longer.)  According to your quit counter, you are 23 days free! free! I congratulate you and urge you to keep on keepin' on~ You are doing great!!

CommunityAdmin
Community Manager
Community Manager

Hello @xjamarkx My name is Quiana, and I am a part of the EX Team.  It may have been hard for you to quit, but what's important is that you are not giving up on the quit journey. I am so happy you are here and I wanted to reach out and personally welcome you to the EX Community! This is a very supportive community so feel free to keep us all posted on your quit journey reach out and let us know if you need anything. You may find our Daily Pledge page helpful to make a commitment not to smoke on a day-by-day basis. Posting there will also bring visibility to your journey to others who take the pledge daily.

Here are some articles that might be helpful as you prepare for your quit date: 

https://www.becomeanex.org/ex-resources/about-quitting/get-ready-to-quit/right-before-you-quit/

https://www.becomeanex.org/ex-resources/about-quitting/get-ready-to-quit/3-ways-to-get-your-support-...

Quiana, EX Team

About the Author
I'm 35/m/KY, USA. I used to smoke a pack a day. I write poetry. I'm focusing on the spiritual awakenings I've had and allowing them to guide me on the right path for my life.