Thanks for all the love & support everyone! Still quit strong! 1 day, 4.5 hours.
I did a lot - I cried for a bit, then i read some more, I did some hot yoga, i took the longest. hottest shower ever. I brushed my teeth. I did some ddep breathing. And you know what? I feel so much better right now.
I can't imagine going through two weeks feeling like I did earlier. But I don't have to imagine it. Right now, my goal is to make it to the kids bedtime, so i can crash out. I don't have to worry about the next weeks, or forever. Just right now.
I told DH that I need to disengage from the big convos for awhile. I can't trust either of us right now - we are wrecks. But I am me - I am not his opinion of me. Smoking will not fix anything. It will not even piss him off. It would only mean ANOTHER hell week start over for me. I am so tired of doing this and thinking of this. Buying a pack only prolongs it. I have to do this. Big girl panties on!
But I was in a really rough spot earlier. So glad all of you came through for me. Hopefully I won't need to be walked off the edge too many more times. lol - but it is only Day 1 still, so keep an eye on me! 😕
