It seems like I've spent most of this year wanting - and not wanting - to stop smoking. Back and forth, back and forth. Quit for 15 days in July but that was it. Kept saying I wanted to quit - until the cravings got bad then I wanted to smoke. I finally made a decision. I'm a non-smoker now and I'm not going back to smoking no matter what. I don't even want to, which is a huge improvement. Today is my third day smoke free. The first two days were really tough but I didn't cave. Today I'm fine and I swear I'll never pick up another cigarette again no matter what happens. I drew the line and stepped over it. I am fully committed to remaining a non-smoker. It took me forever to get here, but having finally made a decision is freedom. So tired of all that back and forth (I want to - I don't want to). I come here and read every day and take inspiration from all the quitters. I had two full packs of cigarettes left and I threw them away. It was hard to throw away $14.50 but so worth it!
