Feeling a little insecure

[richele]

I quit smoking 34 days ago.  And I feel like I really want a cigarette.  I keep thinking just one.  But, I know one leads to two.  Two leads to three and before you know it you are smoking again.  Some of the people I work with want me to go outside with them while they smoke and talk to them.  I don't because it's to tempting.  I've come to far to go back.  What now?  

And I have a friend that smokes.  That wants to hang out.  I've been avoiding that because she wouldn't care she'd just give me a cigarette.  Where the people at work wont give me one.  I don't allow people to smoke in my car or house anymore.  I know my friend will give me attitude about that.  Even though I warned her before that there is no smoking in my house or car.

I avoid going into the gas station.  I get my gas with my debit card.  I've got to go to the dollar store and  get some sugar free gum for work.  Do the craving and wanting a cigarette get easier or is this just going to  be a long battle?

[edsel1964]

What now? You keep going thats what now 34 days is awesome before you know it it will be 50 then 100 and then smoking will be a distant memory!!! Keep going your doing great!!!

[ShawnP]

The physical cravings only last a few days. The mind on the other hand is what you have to overcome. It will get less frequent and will be merely a thought at some time. Certain situations will spark these thoughts to come. Just never dwell on them. The key is to distract yourself when it comes otherwise you will give in to them. The mind is a powerful and needs to be retrained that you don't smoke anymore. You have to keep saying to yourself that you don't smoke anymore. Not one puff ever (N.O.P.E.)  Its only going to be a battle as long as you allow it to be. You are in control, remember that.

[smorgy8513]

I've been lucky that I don't have the work situation or smoking friend scenario you do.  But, what I've read on here that makes sense is that for awhile you may need to not do the things and/or avoid the people that are triggers for you.    It won't be forever and think....what is the priority TODAY for you?

I can totally identify with not wanting to go into the gas station, I lost a 9 month quit a couple of years ago by going in to pay for gas and Nic jumped out and asked for a pack of cigarettes.   I thought "well, now I would sound stupid to say I forgot I don't smoke anymore so I'll just smoke 1 and throw the pack"    Guess what?   That didn't happen and I was back where I had been 9 months before.

Ya gotta do what ya gotta do!!!!

Stay strong and stay close to us here.

Sharon (12 days)

[ninepatch]

You keep protecting that great quit you are building. Be selfish, be stuck up, just be smoke free. I layed low for a couple months avoiding smoking families, not going grocery shopping...you do what it takes. It does get easier. Sounds like.a case of romancing that cig. Stop it NOW. You tell yourself over and over....I don't smoke anymore and I do NOT WANT to smoke. Quit giving these memory of smoking power over you. Take charge, march through and come out smelling so good. YES YOU CAN!

[wishingstar]

It does and will get eaiser.  Shawn is right . Being smoke free, is something we are learning to do.  Kind of  like learning to riding a bike, it did not hapen over night or learning your times tables. Your in NML  it can be odd at  times. You can have a sneaky urge. NML last 2-4 months. Treat like you have been. You will put in new situations, that your doing smoke free for the first time. As you do them It gets easier. Susie right a wednessday blog about NML. See if i can find some for you

[wishingstar]

https://excommunity.becomeanex.org/blogs/jonescarp.aka.dale.Jan_2007-blog/2011/05/24/no-mans-land-da...

my bad its sarah that writes NML blogs or share what other wisw people write. like dale

[freeneasy]

Start feeling good about yourself and remember why you quit! Keep your eye on the prize-freedom from addiction.

[jojo_2-24-11]

Hi Richele, Welcome back! It will get easier and easier the further you get away from the last cigarette you smoked. In the beginning of my quit I went on vacation with a very dear friend who is a smoker. I told her point blank, under no circumstance am I to jeopardize my quit. She was on-board 150%. She bought an e-cig and she used that. I wish she would just quit smoking, I my friends to be around for a long long time!

[joyeuxencore]

Hang in there...congrats on 34 days! xo

30 to 130 days is called No Man's Land (NML) and strong cravings can blindside you out of nowhere...be prepared not surprised...it is normal and will pass! Read up on it on Dale's page and Sarah's Wed Weekly NML blogs...

https://excommunity.becomeanex.org/blogs/jonescarp.aka.dale.Jan_2007-blog/2011/06/26/what-to-expect-...

https://excommunity.becomeanex.org/people/sarahp      Sarah’s NML blogs

https://excommunity.becomeanex.org/blogs/jonescarp.aka.dale.Jan_2007-blog/2011/05/24/no-mans-land-da...

[Giulia]

Of course the cravings and wanting get easier the further you go along the journey.  If that were not so there would be no long-term quitters.  It takes enormous amounts of mental energy to fight off the inital cravings.  We could never sustain that if they continued at the same level. 

My feeling about the "what now?" question you ask.  First off I would say if you still feel like you really want a cigarette then you're still extremely vulnerable to relapse.  So stay away from those triggers that will pull you in that direction.  That is - don't put yourself in those situations.  Do not go and hang out with your smoking co-workers, and don't  talk to your smoking friend if she insists on smoking during that time.  From what you've said she'll give you "attitude" and won't respect you're conditions, so then if she can't respect that she can't enjoy your company.  And you won't enjoy hers if she's being a catalyst to your relapse after all the work you've put in.  Don't ask for trouble when you're not ready to hadle it.  There will come a point when you feel secure enough in your quit.  THEN you can make certain adjustments.  And only then.  In the meantime, there's  the telephone, email, texting, skyping...any number of methods to stay in contact with that friend that won't jeopardize your quit.  If she can't respect  what you're doing by not smoking in your presence it should  1) show you the strength of the addiction - because she can't NOT smoke,  and 2) tell you a little something about the friendship. 

You're doing great.  Don't change a thing.  It will get easier.  BELIEVE IT!

[richele]

I'll try reading those post on NML.   I've got a lot of new friends praying for me.   And I try to stay busy. I'll get through this.  I'm excited about telling my Asthma doctor I quit smoking.  He would get so mad at me when I come in and tell him I was still smoking.  He will be very happy I've quit!!!!