Wow, who would ever have thought? I know, I know…actually LOTS of you knew I was in it for the long run. I think you knew I was gasping as I was writing my first blogs. I had my share of drop me to my knees craves but I knew I wasn’t going to smoke, not THIS time. It never did anything to make anything better and it is such a cowardly way to commit suicide. I am not willing to have my kids and my grandchildren remember me as a coward. I know that THEY know smoking is an addiction, I have known it for a long time but, for some reason, I felt like that gave me a pass. I could not stand the fact that I looked as though I was uneducated because I was sneaking around to smoke. I smelled, I lied to myself, I lied to others when I quit and would sneak around and smoke, thinking they did not know. How sad, I am not a liar or a coward, I AM angry with myself for allowing this addiction to steal so much of my life, to ensure that I will never know what I could have been, I will never run again, I will probably never walk fast again but, by God, I am riding my stationary bike again, I am doing breathing exercises, I am trying to find a yoga class for people who break easily, and I am NOT giving up. I am not going to allow another butt to touch my lips…this is my forever quit and I hope that my forever allows me to be there for my kids and my grandkids. I hope it allows me to be there for myself, I hope I can help someone quit smoking, that I can convince someone never to start. I would love to see smoking become less and less acceptable. I suspect that people already feel it is unacceptable enough but as long as there are young people still getting sucked into this addiction, it is too acceptable. I am so glad that I quit, that I FINALLY listened to my wheezing body begging me to stop. I wheeze less now, I smile more, I am so grateful to have found this site and to have met some of the most amazing people I have ever come across in my life. People from all walks of life and with one common enemy, smoking. If you are a newbie, don’t give up, don’t EVER give up, there are people here who will know just what to say when you need help, just DON’T SMOKE. It’s as SIMPLE as that…Not One Puff Ever!!!!! Thank you all for the support I have received throughout these 500 days!!!
