I have several health problems exaccerbated by smoking including COPD, a heart condition, lupus and diabetes. The last few weeks I would get winded easily and found it difficult to breathe deeply & was smoking 3 packs a day. The insanity of my smoking never ceases to amaze me. My heart doctor said to quit or have a major heart attack, to take my pick. She was not nice about it at all! lol. I got the feeling that if I did not quit smoking that she would dismiss me. No more games for me. One puff led me to full blown addiction to cigarettes again & again in the past 3 years. I have tried to quit over 10-20 times and failed.
I wrote a story about my smoking career which began 45 years ago as a 14 year old child. My father, who was a smoker, gave me my first cigarette. I loved the way it made me feel. I "borrowed" a pack of his cigs and stayed home from school the next day, sat in from of a mirror and tried to learn how to inhale so I could look cool... Presently, not smoking is cool, in fact, it's awsome! At the end, I grew so compulsive about lighting up that I was chain smoking...a pack in the morning, a pack in the afternoon and a pack in the evening. I grew sick & tired of being a slave to cigarettes, the taste, the smell.
For me now, to smoke is to die. I have acceptance that I cannot smoke. No more games. No more one puff. I decided to use a nicotine aide and chose the lozengers. It is working well for me. I'm a litte spacy on my second day, but overall already feel better than any given moment while I was smoking. I can breathe easier! I enjoyed reading Thomas's blog on withdrawal symptoms and what to watch out for. I have a support group of local quitters and then of course, I plan to get active on EX. All I have to do is quit one day at a time with God's help. By the way, do you know how angels fly? They take themselves lightly...
