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Share your quitting journey

Dissapointed

bjohn2
Member
0 9 13

Ladies and Gentleman my name is John Holmes.  Yes, John Holmes, but I can assure you I am not that other John Holmes.  Not even close lol.  I know the jokes are likely to come.  I come here today, not because I want to, nor do I care to become or stay a part of this community.  I come here to clear up some things.  First off, I have been mentioned on this site before.  I am an ex smoker, I have been quit just short of 16 months.  It feels great, and I can assure anyone here that it's the best thing you will ever do with your life.  That's neither here nor there, I'm here for another purpose

Now for my reasoning to be here.  (Wirerat123) is a coworker of mine, he's in the process of quitting as we speak, and he's reaching for help wherever he can get it.  It seems not everyone who is claiming to be there to help are actually being helpful.  After seeing him visibly distraught and struggling this morning, I wanted to see if I could help.  Some of you here should be ashamed of yourselves.  I have browsed through a few of his posts here, and I can not understand this campaign some of you people that are supposed to be here to help are on to run him away.  Sure he could have handled himself a bit differently, but well, if you pay attention the guy didn't draw first blood, he was attacked by one of the very people on this site that is supposed to be looked up to for help and advice, then another, then another, and yet another after that.  I know what I did to quit, and not one of you here will change what worked for me.  Telling me otherwise is calling me a liar, and he felt that these leaders on this board were calling him a liar.

Seems that he's be accused of being a liar and a troublemaker around here by the people here that should be working hard and being patient to help others kick this disgusting habit.  What's even worse about it is telling people about me is the reason he's being called a liar around here.  In fact, me and two of my coworkers have used it together with support from each other to all quit about the same time and all three of us used e-cigarettes as part of our method.  I can assure you they can work if done correctly.  I never thought that someone bragging about my accomplishment would be attacked over it.  I don't know what kind of place this is supposed to be, but if I liked to call myself a mature and decent person.  After acting like some of you have acted here, I would be ashamed of myself.  It's been pure childishness and stubborness than many of you have displayed here, and now I get to spend a part of my day trying to help my friend and coworker get hi head back right.  he's a train wreck right now, and it's likely about the time he needs  a place like this the most.   You should be ashamed of yourselves.  Those of you here who might be bothered by my post, I do not care, none of you here matter to me, you can reply, you can attack, you can deny the truth, whatever, attack away at me.  But he does, he's a part of my REAL life.  I'm going to offer him the support he needs, and should have been getting here, but instead got nothing but attacked and ganged up on.
Many of you leaders here should be ashamed of yourselves.  Now I'm gone, I have better and more important things to do with my life than sit here wasting time scolding people on a website, you know who you are, grow up.  I got someone I need to help.  Good Bye, and good riddance.

9 Comments
Nyima_1.6.13
Member

I will probably be blackballed for writing this but I am truly sorry about what happened to your friend! I am guessing that his 'huge' reaction to the negativity might have something to do with his brand new quit! Sadly, this is a site where it might be best to ignore what isn't helpful and don't question the EXperts! I think if he came back, he would get support in his quit! While the jury/research is still out on the Ecigs, he seems to be making an extremely honest and dedicated effort to quit!! He is very lucky to a friend like you to back him up.

Brenda_M
Member

Hi, John,

Wow. What a great friend he has for you to come here like this. I hope you'll at least get the comments by email if you're not going to come back here.

I'm sorry for the reception he received, too, and I'm even more sorry to know that he is struggling today. Many of us want to support him and be there for him and quite like him. This place is sometimes like "Lord of the Flies," and I don't know why. But we're not all like that.

Please relay my message to him. Now that things have settled down, I imagine the people who treated him ugly will simply ignore him and his blogs. Then, the only interaction he has is that which he'll seek out himself in other blogs or from the messages from the others. That's what tends to happen, anyway.

Best,

Brenda

craftylady
Member

Blackball me too then.  I am really sorry.  I had someone rant on me when I first came here.  I wasn't doing it 'their way' so I was wrong and stupid!  I decided that one IDIOT was not going to ruin this for me.  I came back and the IDIOT appeared now and then.  (Found out they were an alcoholic, so more issues than just smoking.)  Not an excuse for them but it made it easier for me just to ignore and skip their comments!!

I know how you feel and your friend.  PLEASE don't let one or a pack of mean people ruin your friends quit.  HE DESERVES THIS!!

Kimshine
Member

Have him come back! Yesterday, I advised him to take what was useful to him and leave the rest behind. I know it is hard, especially at first because we want everyone to support us. However, in life, that does not always happen. 

See there are many people that want to support him. He was making friends here. It is a rather large community and there are many different types of personalities that make up the the whole of us. 

Send him back in, if he'd be willing to see that there is support for him. Whatever he decides, please tell him to keep that quit going and congrats to you, John on your quit!! I'm glad he has such support in you!!

Kim

bjohn2
Member

I had to edit this folks, I accidentally used his real name.  Even I've kind of messed this up for him.  Thos of you who saw his real name, don't repeat it, he doesn't want anything more to do with this site or anyone on it.  And he real name could be used to search for him and harrass him further.  So please, those of you here that care, be respectful, respect his wishes, forget the name I use in my original post.

I'm not scolding here anymore, I simply came back to right my own wrong.  I'm leaving this one final thought.  The true measure of a person is how they treat someone who can do nothing for them.

craftylady
Member

His secret is safe!!  Just want him to know that there are a BUNCH of wonderful supportive people here!  And a few who think it's their way or no way.  Some that have multiple issues and addicitions.  Just like in life outside the computer! 

AND THANK YOU and BLESS YOU for being a good friend!!

alysonoholic
Member

You do sound like you are a wonderful friend, John, and I am glad Jeff has someone like you to support him in real life.

I think many of us who are here, even for a short period, have had to learn quickly that some people who have been given the EXpert badge seem to relish antagonizing the newbies. Conversely, there are so many amazing people here who want to see more than that "6%" succeed...This has been eye-opening and challenging but has left me with a firm resolve to treat even the newbies here with the kindness and respect they deserve - especially considering we all know what a rollercoaster of emotions you can experience at the beginning of a quit.

I wish you both continued success. 

cyn9
Member

We are all different, have different lives, opinions, beliefs and ways of doing things. Thats what makes this comunity work. Some folks here you really 'click' with, some you listen to, some you ignore. The option is yours. But, there should ALWAYS be respect. 

The Elders cared for me when I first came and I care for the Newbies now. Some like what I have to give them, some probly don't. But I DO CARE!

I don't know what happened, but I have never seen ANY ONE get ganged up on in the 2 + years I've been here. I'm sorry your friend recieved input of that nature. 

Brian100
Member

The more I think about this, the more ashamed I am.  A new member joins with enthuisiasm, and then a few so-called "elders" gang up on him with their dogma.  Really pathetic.