Depressed

[kbarb68]

Hi,

I am 6 hours away from starting day 5 of my quit.  I was managing pretty well and felt very strong until today.  I am a hot mess!  I can't stop crying and feeling completely depressed and alone.  My husband and I both quit at the same time (he broke and started again) and we aren't even talking to each other and when we do we only argue.  I just don't want to live like this!!!   Maybe I should've picked a quit aid but did not want to mess with any of that stuff.  Right now I am so close to just saying the hell with it and start over with a quit aid.  I am such a mess and I hate it!!!

[Puff-TM-Draggin]

Oh, you are so not alone.  I know what you are going through.  I went through that too.  Don't give up!  Of course you feel uncomfortable.  That's what an addiction is.  Your brain is throwing a temper tantrum, telling your body, 'give me what I want or you'll be sorry!"  C'mon!  Don't give in.  Go chug a tall glass of ice water.  Stick your head in the freezer and take deep breaths.  Walk backwards around the house!  I don't care if it's dark outside.  It will give you the time to decompress.  If you really think you need NRT, commit to getting it tomorrow but not giving up the progress you've made so far.  Crying is okay.  Smoking is not.  You are not alone.  We are all here pulling for you.  We KNOW you CAN do this.  Just DON'T do that.  Remember?  "You don't do that anymore."

Period.

Think of something else to do.

[Sootie]

Of course you don't want to live like this.....but you won't have to! These first few days and weeks of a quit are by no means the whole of it.

You don't want to live in addiction do you?

You don't want to be paying out $6.00 or more per day for something that is ultimately diminsihing your life?

You don't want to continue to have to find places and times where oyur socially unacceptable addiciton can be carried out.

You don't want to continue to have to fight that smell with candles, perfumes, room fresheners etc.etc.

You don't want to live worrying if every cold and cough is something serious due to smoking.

It is VERY hard the first few days. And it remains difficult for many weeks........but NOT for many "years"!!! Sooner than you think, you will go an entire day without thinking about cigarettes. It feels so GREAT to kick this habit and we all want you to feel that way.

So........stay strong.

[kbarb68]

Thank you for your responses.  I did NOT give in!  This is so damn hard!  Still not sure I need an NRT.  Maybe if the depression symptoms persist.  Okay going to try to shut my eyes and wake up to a new day.  For some reason morning is easier for me than the evening.  Thanks again!

Karen

[SkyGirl]

kbarb...STOP. Your brain is controlling your addiction right now.  Of course you feel awful!  This is a major life change.  But it is one for the better  And if you do it with or without your spouse, it is a wonderful thing that you do for yourself.  Please don't mix up your marriage issues with quitting smoking.  

You CAN do this.  Your nicotine addiction is no stronger nor harder to beat than any of our addictions were.  If we could do it, SO CAN YOU.

There are so many of us who are here on EX now who completely understand where you are now and what you are feeling.  Don't give up.  We can help you get through the worst of the first few days while the last of the nicotine is leaving your body.  It takes 72 hours, approximately, for all nicotine to leave your bloodstream.  After that, it's about how long it takes for your altered brain receptors and dopamine pathways to heal themselves to a pre-nicotine state.  It can take a long time, but staying active here on EX is a huge advantage if you really intend to become a non-smoker forever.

Please pm me when you can.  I know you can do this.  I want to help you.

Sky

[Giulia]

You've been given some incredible advice.  Trust us.  We're not lying to you.  Yes, it's rough in the beginning, but it gets better.  Slowly.  You have to be willing to hang in until you start feeling the changes we keep talking about.  Nobody would make it through if it remained as bleak as we feel at first.
Try to step aside emotionally/mentally and be the fly on your own wall.  You're just quitting smoking.  This is not the end of the world.  Try to see it as a challenge, a learning experience rather than this HUMONGOUS MOUNTAIN THAT'S SWALLOWING YOU ALIVE...... lol.  Really.  You're simply altering your behavior.  And that's a major adjustment.  Which can be uncomfortable, but oh - so empowering.  Tomorrow when you awaken without having caved - that will spur you to hang on for the next day and the next.  You're a Champion in the making.  And Champions don't give up.

[Deena-A-Yenni]

I'm speechless.  All the messages and info that's been passed on to you is empowering even to me!!!  You can do this!!!!

[JonesCarpeDiem]

The first 2-3 weeks are the most difficult for everypne to get through.

Part of this may be tied to the fact your husband gave in and you feel it's unfair that he gets to smoke?

I wish you would have your husband read my page. It explains the process in a way that men might better understand and has a timeline of what to expect.

If he did not prepare, perhaps he is fooling himself or not decided.

https://excommunity.becomeanex.org/people/jonescarp.aka.dale.jan_2007

[marla_10.12.15]

I just read something about quitting pacts not working. This is your journey. It'll be extra hard since he smokes too. But don't give up. Maybe once he sees how free you are in the future, he'll follow your lead. Try your best not to fight. Yes, you're probably extra cranky right now, and I know you want what's best for him, be he's gotta have his own journey. Best wishes! Hang in there.

[TerrieQuit]

Don't fight it! That will make you nuts! You want to stay quit or you wouldn't be here. Willingness and a daily committment is what is working for me and from what I hear it is working for many! Join us! Congratulations on a full 4 days, Karen! You are doing this!! Hopefully you're husband will follow but that is his quit! Keep your eye on the prize! That's your quit! WTG!!

Terrie  93  DOF