9 days ago I was struggling with not having one last final smoke. It was suggested that I do some work and write a goodbye letter. This helped with my struggle. For those struggling or relapsing I suggest you try writing your own goodbye letter. It's long, this is what it wrote:
51 days ago I left you behind. I didn't properly say goodbye. Now you want to come back into my life with your destructive, intrusive ways.
You've been lying to me to make me think I need to look back and pick you up again. But I'm leaving you and only looking ahead.
You are telling me that we need one last time together to get our farewell right. But we both know we would never be satisfied with one last time together.
You have been lying to me about your intent and want me dependent on you again, just like the old days.
You had me addicted and strung out. Every waking thought was about you. Even now you are able to make me feel cheated for not being with you one last time.
So I'm closing the door, looking forward-not looking back any more. Because you have nothing to offer me-except heartache-and I don't do you any more. I'm free!
