I don't know how to describe how a feel. Today has been an interesting day for me so far. i am back to babysitting which keeps me busy. I also had an interview this morning. It went very well and I will know by the end of the week if I have the job or not. Never once wanted a cig and I still don't. BUT my boyfriend and I were supposed to have gone out to dinner on the 13th, well it never happened because he didn't want to deal with the holiday crowd. We then decided to go out and celebrate our one month victory on Monday, today. I just found out that we are not going out tonight either. I have not rewarded myself at all for quitting and thought this would be a perfect way to do it. Now that he keeps backing out I feel like I am not doing good enough. I know the reason we can't go is money but inside I feel like I am being punished. It's sad and it makes me feel broken up. I am not going to smoke but I feel like the past month is just nothing now.
