Wow, this is day 16. Not smoking is slowly becoming more normal than smoking. I would like to say finally but that that is probably not the case. After 16 days I cannot say that all the pitfalls are gone, or that being an Ex is completely comfortable, but it is definitely becoming a little more normal than it was two weeks ago. More normal meaning less awful! Ha!
There have been a couple times this last couple days where those pangs come and hit pretty hard. I have shared in many of my blogs that the ones that really hit the hardest are the ones that come with a sense of loss and deprivation. Literally feel sometimes like I have lost a best friend or family member. Doesn't make sense, I know that, but it is my reality. That feeling of not being able to smoke with a drink, or other friends who smoke, or after a great meal, or in the morning with coffee, has been pretty tough on me. I try the self-talking and encouragement and it certainly works. I know I don't enjoy those activities because of the smoke, I enjoy them because they are enjoyable. I have really been working on keeping that close to mind. Every time over the last 16 days I do something I usually smoked during I tell myself, and often times out-loud, that it was a perfectly enjoyable thing I just did and that not having a smoke didn't make it any worse. And, that if I didn't enjoy it without a smoke, the only reason is that I was pouting about not having a smoke. If I would have moved on and not pouted it would have been perfectly enjoyable.
I am starting to settle in a little more to being an Ex. I am starting to believe that life can be perfectly great and even better without the little killers. My runs have been faster, my workouts have been harder, and my sleep has been getting better. I think my life without them will be better than my life with them that is for certain. I knew that, but actually experiencing it and KNOWING it is a whole different thing.
