A bit of backstory on my smoking habits: I am a daily vaper who smokes continuoulsy thoughtout the day. I smoke salt nic (5%) and average about ~ 40mg +/day. This has been my habit for 2 1/2 years. Prior to vaping, I was a pack/day cigarette smoker. I want to write this blog post both to chronicle my own journey but also to give insight into what the first few days might be like for other smokers like me.
Here is my timeline of day 1. Best of luck to all of you trying to quit! You got this!
8:30 Alarm goes off. I pretend I'm not awake, trying to push off the day, but my mind is already racing.
9:30 Out of bed now. Trying to convince myself I'm excited about the day, but incredibly nervous about what's to come. I get straight to making coffee and put on my very first patch. 21 mg delivered over 24 hours. Anxiety levels 9/10. I'm shakey, dissosociated, uncoordinated and my breathing is shallow. Every single thought is on vaping. Every single thought. I move through my room, mindlessly picking up clothes and wiping down surfaces, but nothing truely distracts me. My vape and all my supples still sit in my bedside table. I don't let myself look at them, nor dare to even open the drawer.
11:00 Two cups of coffee in and I release I need to slow down and eat something. To my surprise, my appetite is all but non-existent, but I force myself to eat a good breakfast to try to keep my body as stable and regulated as possible.
11:45 Holy **bleep** I need to get the **bleep** out of my house. I feel like I can't breathe and the walls are closing in on me. I make a plan to go for a walk and on the way dispose of my vape and all my supplies. I grab a light coat, stuff some gum in my pocket and head out the door. It's a beautiful fall day, but I find it hard to admire anything around me.
