I have been smoke-free since July 30, 2018. It has been a long time since I had cravings. I’m usually not triggered at all. Recently I relapsed on Mtn Dew. I quit drinking it because I’m pre diabetic and it gives me kidney stones. When I drink caffeinated beverages, I get dehydrated. I get dry mouth. Dry mouth has always been a trigger for me. I also get anxious and depressed, which are triggers.
I have been working on my diet to lose weight for about a year, no results. I got discouraged and relapsed into addictive eating habits (drinking Mtn Dew and eating Domino’s pizza everyday). I have always been an addictive eater. This behavior is not new but it doesn’t feel the same because I went so long eating better. I joined a 12-step program for addictive eating because I am desperate to get back to where I was a few weeks ago with my exercise and diet. I feel trapped. I can’t continue my old eating routine without feeling shame and anxiety and wanting to smoke. I am scared and sad when I think of giving up addictive eating. I’m also scared that nothing will work because I’ve tried everything I know for the past year and still haven’t gotten to a healthy diet or lost a single pound.
I started going to the 12-step meetings a week ago but I haven’t shared. I got phone numbers of experienced group members but I haven’t call any of them. I’m scared to pull the trigger and actually commit to the food program.
Although I have over 3 years smoke-free, I’ve relapsed countless times into smoking. I haven’t been participating in this community recently, but I know that I will get help if I come back and put some effort into my quit. I know I need to post before I smoke. Thanks for reading.
