I stand staring at the mountain, so far away. I need to reach the peak. I need to experience what's on the other side. There is something magical on the other side, something my doctor recommends. Something they say will help me breath better, smell better, feel better.
I continue to trudge along through the wilderness and trees until I can see the base of the mountain. Fear strikes my heart like a sledgehammer. Oh, God! What am I gonna do? How will I get through this?
Out of nowhere, a memory surfaces. What about that hotline that is advertised everywhere? They say they can guide you to the mountain top. I go and look it up on the internet. Not much help there, but they have links to other sites. I click on one. BecomeAnEx.org. I want to be an Ex. I want to see what's on the other side of this mountain. To be completely honest, going to the other side of the mountain, scares the hell out of me. I have smoked all my life, been through every trauma and good time with them. What am I gonna do?
The screen fills with its usual stuff. I begin to look around. I check this out, read about that, watch this video and suddenly I feel a part of this site. I write a blog post about how I'm feeling, how scared I am. Something amazing happens. Something truly invaluable to me. I begin to feel less scared and more excited. I begin to feel that, maybe, just maybe, I can do this. That mountain begins to look a little less tall, a little less treacherous.
The next day (today), I log onto the site. I was just gonna look around and maybe watch a video or two. I look at my message box and find there are messages waiting for me. I click on it and find there are several messages on my blog post.
Not only did people see my blog, they read it! They RESPONDED to it! I couldn't believe what I was seeing! There were other people on this mountain, some were ahead of me, some next to me and some behind me, but there were people there with me! Where did they all come from? Why didn't I see them before?
Tears blurred my vision as I read their words and felt their support. Suddenly, I feel not only excited about this journey up the mountain, I think I can make it up to the top! Dare I dream of what's on the other side?
I think we should get me through the first day, then I will begin the dreaming of the climb down the other side.
