Counting, counting....

[KMC56]

Usually I am pretty upbeat, and roll with the punches...right now...not so wonderful.  I just returned from caring for my 86 yr. old mom, who to say the least (and I love her so) is the most ungrateful person I know.  Sadly, this has always been her demeanor, but with start of dementia it has only essenuated this trait in personality.   I have set up for her to receive meals 4 days a week...and she is one pissed off hornet!!!  I have the utmost empathy and sympathy for her and arguing with a parent of that age, just made me sick to my stomach...and want to go to the corner store.   That hasn't happened in I don't know how long...so, blogging, riding the wave, and would like to forget this day ever happened.....thanks for being there fellow Exers...keeping it real one day at a time. .K

[YoungAtHeart]

I am so sorry that your caregiving has become so difficult.  This is a Herculean task - and you should be very proud of you for taking it on.

With that said, you do deserve to take care of you, too - and if that involves having meals brought in - than that is what it involves.  You have probably spoiled her rotten up until now, and with the addition of dementia, you are dealing with a no-win situation.

Just keep asking yourself what smoking would do to make this easier to bear.....you know the answer is not a darn thing! 

Hang in there!  Do something for YOU this afternoon.  Maybe a walk in the sunshine, maybe a mini pedicure, maybe a new scented candle on your porch or deck, or a relaxing bath with your favorite magazine?

Nancy

[MePlus3]

Thats right keep counting my mom's the same way! I dread the day i'll have to care for her totally I know it wont be a walk in the park! They are our parents we have to breath and I've learned that silence helps as well. Keep stacking your days and counting. Here is a great place to vent not the gas station! Have a great day!

[crazymama_Lori]

always remember that little white stick will not make anything better nor take anything away.  Dementia is an unforgiving illness and those poor souls have no control over it and their loved ones take the brunt of it.  You are a wonderful person to be doing this.  Please don't try to take this personally.  it's just the disease talking as I'm sure you know.  My father was afflicted also when he was in King VA.  Some days he was fine and other days he hated our guts.  So I totally feel for you (muah)

[plug66]

glad you are making busy with blogging, venting, and riding the wave....its way better than trotting to the corner store, besides silly girl, you don't do that anymore.....just keep taking deep breaths and smile till you face hurts

[Jennifer-Quit]

It is a tough job being a care giver for an aging parent and you deserve a gold star!  So happy that you decided to blog rather than make a trip to the corner store.  Good job at protecting that quit!

[SimplySheri]

Your mom may be ungrateful but its hard to get older for anyone and having dementia only makes it worse.  Everything you could once do gets harder or impossible.  Life can be hard.

That being said, you can only do what you can do!  Be gentle with yourself and use some resources to help you with your mother.  In Florida, there is a whole website dedicated to senior services and all the help available to them.  Sometimes you can call Council on Aging or Department of Elder Affairs.  You may even get help through a local chapter of dementia support.

Smoking will change nothing.  Again, be gentle on yourself and take time out to do something special for you...especially after being with your mom.  Someting relaxing like a massage, manicure, meditation.....Do something your future self will thank you for 🙂

[KMC56]

The carpet is cleaned....!

[elvan]

So sorry, I just had a similar conversation with my good friend, her mother died last year and she is caring for her father.  She HAD a helper but he has to have surgery on his neck and might not be able to return.  She spends her time running back and forth between her place and her father's and is in a constant state of exhaustion.  Her father is a very angry man.  I feel for you, you don't deserve this.

[JACKIE1-25-15]

Honey I have been where you are so many times.  Caring for SOME parents is a difficult task. It will build your character like no other challenge in life.  Sweetheart, I understand they are who they are.  As they age their demeanor has become engrained in them and nothing you say or do will please. They are right and you are wrong.  It is very hard but you have to step away breathe and calm down.  You have to learn to protect yourself, mentally, physically and emotionally.  Learn not to be manipulated by the ideology they deserve what they want and have the authoriy to say anything whether it hurts someone or not.  This is a major test for your quit.  My hat is off to you for what you do. , pass it and you will grow.  Let love be the vehicle for all you do. 

[JACKIE1-25-15]

PS 

Don;t feel bad if you have to be in charge.  They fight for independence in so many ways.  My father cried this morning because I had to wash him. and change his clothes. 

[TerrieQuit]

I don't have any words, but I will pray! Hugs!

Don't Quit on your Quit!

[bonniebee]

Just lost my entire comment ! So i will just say there is a book titled "Still Alice" the author had a mother who had Altzheimers so she had experience and she researched even though t was written as a fiction. She wrote the book  from the perspective of the woman who was experiencing the early stages of the disease . it was amazingand also very scary .

After working all my life with the elderly and in NSG homes it has been my biggest fear even moreso then dying of cancer or heart disease . Itwas another reason I quit smoking because it can be a smoking related illness

You are doing a great job with your Mom and your quit !

Stay strong and carry on ! God Bless you both

[shashort]

Stay strong Girl!  Wish I could add more but they pretty much said it. Just know keeping you in my prayers and thinking of you. NOPE!!