So after 425 days I think I have finally settled in to being a NON smoker. Throughout my life I have wondered how people see me in the grand scheme of things and wondered even more about whether or not the way I see myself is close to the way I am perceived by my peers. As I've gotten older I've realized that my self perception is more important than what other's think of me simply because I am the only one who knows my entire story inside and out.Only I know what makes me want to grab a cigarette, Only I know how I can fight off my urges, and Only I know that ultimately no one can "make" me do anything and that it will be a choice that will affect me the rest of my life for better or worse.
Please forgive the ramblings of a not so old man. Boredom sets in and I decided to figure out how many days I've been alive since June 11, 2014 will make my 38th trip around the sun. Makes me feel a little worse about myself. Here is what I came up with:
5900 days without a cigarette... this includes from day 1 to year 15 + the 425 days of my quit
7970 days killing myself by smoking.... this includes years 15 to 38 - the 425 days of my quit
Was it a smart thing to do... probably not. Was it something that will bother me for a while.... probably not
Will it encourage me to continue my quit.... probably not that either. So why did I do it? Here's your answer:
I did it because for 16 years of my life I have been smoke free and for 21 years i have smoked cigarrettes. I have smoked for more than half of my existence on this earth. I am also on a 425 day streak of being able to beat the odds and teach my kids and provide an example for anyone who encounters me that if you just fight for what you want it can be done. If you just believe in yourself more than those around you, if you find that inner strength to tell yourself that you matter most in your life, if you become comfortable in your skin with who you were, who you are, and who you want to be.....
Impossible is nothing.
