This morning I was incredibly annoyed. My fiancee didn't wake me up after knowing that I had grossly overslept for work. This happened because I was up half the night comforting our daughter who had come down with pneumonia. He knows what time I have to get up and not only did it not matter to him, since he was up, but he said that he mentioned to me, while I was dead alseep, that it was time to get up. You can't just mention things to me when I'm asleep! You have to shake me until I wake up.. I mean cmon! I have done this for him..
Anyhow the annoyance continues as I'm leaving the house. As I walk out the garage door, there, right in front of me, are my exact brand of smokes. A box of them sitting there, complete with a lighter! I'm sure you can all guess what thoughts came running through my mind.
I had asked him two days ago to help support me by removing cigarette packs, lighters and ashtrays from sight.. Obviously he hadn't done this.. My annoyance was at a boiling point.. BUT
I did something that I have never done.. AND that's what deserves to be celebrated today. I didn't smoke. There was definitely opportunity. There was definitely a number of reasons why I could have, but I didn't. I didn't give in. I didn't fold and I am proud of that.
I'm not extremely happy with the words I hurled at him in spite, but I can make apologies. What I am happy about, is that I didn't use a cigarette to cope with my feelings.
