I've struggled with cigarettes, box vapes, and e cigarettes. I've struggled with Marijuana, but always been able to quit that. Never been able to fully quit nicotine. On my journey with Christ, I have had to release a lot of my anger, shame, and worthlessness I feel every day from abuse by my parents and being in foster care. Since the age of 17 I've regularly smoked nicotine and I'm almost 27 now. I cannot be a better person until I quit smoking. How can I let something control me? I watch my boyfriend in a casket and I knew I never wanted to have any substance in my body again. EVEN NICOTINE. I've lost 175 lbs on my own with diet and exercise, but still I struggle with Nicotine. If I can quit all the sodas and ice creams, I can quit nicotine! That's my struggle, and I'm looking you in the eye today and telling you we are done, you are no longer allowed to do any more damage to me or the ones around me. I'm doing this for myself, first and foremost, and my nieces who always ask why I smoke. Well, no more. I will and am free. Nothing can chain me any longer, not even nicotine. Something so simple but so big, I just want a life without you. You've been there for good memories and bad, but it's hard to recall a time when you WEREN'T there. As of you are a demonic attachment, I will rebuke everything about you. I need you out of my life, no longer attached to me. This is goodbye. Do not contact me and I will not contact you. It will be hard, but as time goes on, we will think of each other less. I will think of nicotine separate from myself.
