Big Fat Failure... and Another Shot

[Brittney4]

Oh my goodness... What a shame, I made it for 14 hours or so before I did it.  I picked up a cig and smoked it.  I felt ashamed and extremely light headed!  Why?  Well there are never any good excuses!  My poor boyfriend was home and trying to help me have a calm day.  He was supposed to go to work today but he didn't.  Well, I started crying for no reason except frustration and he felt terrible there was nothing he could do for me.  He went outside and got my cigs out of his man cave (I had told him to destroy them last night) and he brought them to me and told me just to smoke.  He said he loved me no matter if I was a smoker or non smoker, he just wanted me to feel better.  I should have said no but I didn't.  So here I am... A failure for today.  However, I am doing it again.  I am on day 1 once again.  I can't stop!  I have communicated to him that the best thing he can do is support me and tell me NO!  If I cry and he doesn't like it, he needs to leave the room or find something else to concentrate on. 

I'm not done trying!  I will defeat this stupid smoking habbit!!! 

[Leeza]

Get the cigs out of there...having stopped before, you know what a temptation that is for us nic addicts...triggers are tough at the beginning.  Remind yourself about your previous multi-month quit when the urges arise for in that quit you showed yourself that you CAN be a non-smoker. 

[Newfound_Joy]

I tried to quit many times and failed.  You see I always thought I was miss "Smarty Pants" and could do it MY WAY.  Well, my best thinking got me here feeling like a total and complete failure, gasping, choking, caughing and spitting.  Totally disgusting!!  I started reading others posts and paying real attention to what they were saying.  Certainly they had to know more than I did or they wouldn't be on here writing about it. The most important thing I learned is KNOWLEDGE is power!! Arm yourself with all the knowledge you can about this addiction.  (Allen Carr's EASYWAY and whyquit.com) Know your enemy and take this addiction seriously.  That is the only way to beat it.  You can do this!!

[pugs_girl]

You are not a failure Brittney!!  You're human.  And an addict.  Now, what to do.......you fight back with all your might!  You write down the real reason why you made the decision to quit smoking.  Make many little copies of that reason and tape it everywhere you go.  By the coffee pot, on the fridge, on the mirror in your bathroom, on the computer monitor at work and at home, on the dashboard of your car.  Then......you repeat it...CONSTANTLY.  Make it your mantra.  Believe it!!!  I even taped it to the back of my cell phone.  Remind yourself constantly why you are doing this.  Drink a TON of water, go out for a walk each time you have a craving.  Breathe deep and quick.  Turn on some of your favorite music and dance like a total nut!!!!  It gets your heart rate up, you get to laugh at yourself and guess what......the craving passes!  TAH DAAAAH!!!  First and foremost, you really have to believe in yourself.  Don't settle for setbacks.  Be mad at yourself because it's NOT ok that you cheated.  NOW it's time to finally QUIT!!  🙂 You can do this!!!

[Ex_Nancy]

Hey Brittany, Pugs girl is right. Be mad at yourself because it's not okay that you cheated...You must want to quit MORE than you want to smoke...This takes preparation by educating yourself on the addiction, making a plan and sticking to it. My advice, read, read,read, The better you understand all the mind games that go with it, the better equipped you will be to defeat it... go to quitsmokingonline.com and whyquit.com...Nancy.

[BobbyMaynard]

You are right, there are no good excuses, if fact there are no excuses at all, we all make the consious decision to smoke or not to smoke everyday. ,You are not a failure. You only fail when you stop tyring. I agree with Newfound Joy,  KNOWLEGE IS POWER. If you have not done any reading please try,                                http://www.quitsmokingonline.com/

http://www.whyquit.com/

http://joga.365.lt/Allen-Carr_Easy-Way-To-Stop-Smoking_Download-free-PDF-EBook

Plus many other resources listed on this very website. READ, READ, LEARN.

You are so young, be kind to yourself and stop killing your body with poison. You can do this, but you are the only person that can decide to smoke or not to smoke.

We are here to help you help yourself and we want you to succeed.

Bobby

[misty_dawn]

My kids used to bring me cigarettes, too, when I was somewhere  between days 1-4.  They would actually go to the neighbor's place and ask them for a cigarette for me.  And I would smoke it because it made me feel better for about, oh...30 seconds.  And then feel like you feel now.

No cigarettes.  Keep them away from your face, not in your home, not stashed in your car.  Someone around here has the "letter to your love ones" for when you stop smoking.  Give it to your boyfriend and let him know it's not helping you to get you cigs when you are upset and going through urges and craves.

Some of them can be  very emotional and you CAN make it through them, minute by minute, hour by hour and day by day.

Because you will have weak moments and when you do, come here and reach out.  You can do this.  

[shill57957]

I did it too, I made it 19 hours my first day then I smoked 3.  I said NO MORE and I haven't had another one in 96 days.  You can do it.  Just keep them away.  And everyone is right knowledge is the secret to success.  Read, read and read.  It will help you have a great quit versus a miserable one.  

[Ex_Nancy]

MIsty was right, I hope I can post this...It's called A Letter to a Loved One...Get this straight together and you'll be headed in the right direction...

Dear______,

I am about to make a huge change in my life for the better. I am going to quit smoking.

I have a quit plan that I am confident with and I want to let you know what to expect for the next couple of weeks. I also want to give you some ideas on how to help me. Most people do not realize it, but nicotine is one of the hardest drugs to stop, even harder than heroin and alcohol.

Everyone reacts to the withdrawal symptoms differently and during the first two weeks, don't expect much from me. I will not behave like my normal self. All of my energy will be focused on fighting the physical and mental cravings of smoking. I may cry, I may yell, I may ignore you. Worst of all, I may be hurtful to you, but I want you to know that is the nicotine talking, not my heart. I WILL apologize afterwards, once the poison has left my body and my mind has cleared, but for the moment, please, PLEASE remember that I love you, and do not hold my actions against me.

My mind will play some very cunning tricks on me to try to convince me to start smoking again. It’s a very nasty addiction. I may rationalize that "now is not a good time to quit". I may talk about feeling a sense of emptiness and loss. My body may develop aches and pains. I may not be able to sleep. I may act like it’s all your fault. If I do, I apologize now because I don’t really mean it.

I am doing this for me, not for you. In this one important way, I have to be selfish, so that I cannot give the nicotine a reason to put the blame on anyone else. You must not feel responsible for my discomfort or depression in any way. Even if you feel you can't stand to see me this way, whatever you do, do NOT tell me it's okay to smoke just to stop the pain. You need to be strong when I am weak, so please do not agree with any rationalizations I may come up with. I am counting on you.

Here are some things that will help me:

· Hug me when I need a hug, but don't be hurt if I push you away.

· If I tell you to leave me alone, give me space, but don't go too far...I need to know you are near me.

· Don't try to argue with me when I start to rationalize...silence is a more powerful message. No matter what I say or do, a safe comment is always,” I’m proud of you.”

· Avoid the topic of cigarettes (because I'm trying to get them off my mind), unless I bring it up first.

· Do the best you can to act as if everything is normal. The more normal you act, the faster I will get there.

· Consciously avoid putting me into situations where I will be in the presence of smokers. This may mean avoiding favorite restaurants or bars, or hanging out with certain friends for a while.

· If something stressful can be put off for a couple of weeks, please try to do so. If not, please try to cushion me.

· If I need some kind words, tell me that you are proud of me. Tell me it will get better, that the emptiness and pain will lessen, that you love me, and that quitting is worth the effort. Tell me I am strong. Tell me you will be there no matter what I say or do.

I hope you will find these suggestions helpful because I know that you are behind me 100%. No more second-hand smoke for my loved ones and pet(s). I will be free from the prison that smoking creates for us. I will be free of the smell of stale tobacco. I am looking forward to living my new smoke-free life. I will be around longer for those I love. Not smoking will begin to improve my health immediately.

Thank you for loving me and helping me through this.

Love, _______

 

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[JonesCarpeDiem]

its a choice, day one or day 1000 but it certainly does get easier to say no the longer you have been quit

[kellie3]

You are in no way a failure.  I will tell you what I have told many.  Quitting smoking is not easy.  You have to be ready and willing to get down in the trenches.  

But.. remember this is temporary.  You don't like water... so drink your Pepsi or drink iced tea.  Don't give up caffeine and nicotine at the same time.  

I love you so much and want this to be easy for you, but it won't be.  I will be here to stand beside during each withdrawl if you want me to.  

You have to quit thinking of yourself as a loser, as weak.  You are neither.  You are one of the strongest and most self assured young women I know.  You CAN do this.  Think of it as the worst 7 day vacation you have ever been on, but one you can look back at and say you survived and are better for it.  

Be on your toes for those little moments.  Tell your smoking friends to just keep them away from you for the time being.  If they must smoke... then they must not be around you.  It won't kill them or you to be away from each other for a week.  After that just know it only takes one puff to lose progress.

As soon as this whacky site gets it's shit together and works out the bugs, get a quit clock going on your page.  Watch it minute by minute the first couple days.  You will be surprised that hours go by and soon days.

I love you and all you have to do is tell me what I can do to help.  I am proud of you for turning right around and doing this.  WTG,

[Brittney4]

Thank you everyone... It's not ok that I cheated and I know that.  It's amazing to me what a hold this addiction really has on me.  I'm just trying to make it through tonight and then tomorrow is a new day!!!   I have school tomorrow and so my morning will not be as hard because I will have things that I have to do to stay busy.  I do not have many other triggers (except bordem) during the afternoons, it's just those mornings!!! 

[melissa131]

Also might wanna look at lies the nicodemon tells us on Giulia's page. It really helped me when I got in a fight with my man, and realized I was just trying to make a reason to smoke. I knew it was true as soon as I read it, because I used to move a lot when I was a kid, and used to get in fights with people before I moved so I could say, fine, that's just fine, I wont miss that person. It sounds so weird, we do the weirdest things us humans. Read "The lies the nicodemon tells us" it's really an amazing insight into why we do the crazy things we do, in order to smoke, cause nicotine is a drug, it's addictive and much like herione people will do anything, including lieing to themselves to get a fix. Yep. 

[KatherineF]

Remember when you are having a craving to read using the links in BobbyMaynard's comment.  You can do this.  Have faith in yourself.