Today I decided to look online for a support group to help in my journey of quitting drinking. I actually found Online AA. I chatted with some people on there and told them that I can't get to meetings, and that I was hoping the online place could still help. They gave me links to the Big Book of AA, which I am going to buy.. and they said that if I can't get to meetings, at least get the book because it will help.
So, I have that site for the drinking problem, This site for the smoking problem, and my CD program for the stress and anxiety. It's time to make things better for myself and my family.
I realized last night that I have been using these things to hide from my life..and why?? My life's not bad. I am so blessed to have a healthy family who loves eachother. I have a roof over my head, I have food in the kitchen..and anything that I'm worried about may not sort itself out.. but If I can get (and keep) myself clear-headed, I can start dealing with some of the things that are bothering me. Cigarettes didn't solve any of it for me, and neither did drinking. I'm tired of using the excuse of- It makes me feel better, I'm self medicating with them because they are 2 methods I am more comfortable with.... I told myself and others this for years.. Oh poor me, I will just drink it away... No more. I want to live my life, not hide in the corner with a bottle and a cigarette.
When I smoked again, I told my husband- "I need something..it's either going to be a beer or a cigarette, but I need something." NO I DIDN'T!! I was just a little stressed over next to nothing..and I was being a total drama queen...JUST BECAUSE I WANTED something. I wanted to use that as an excuse so I could have cigs or a drink.
Soooo.. I came up with a plan. From now on, if it's unhealthy, I'm not touching it. I'm going to eat healthy, quit smoking, quit drinking, exercise (I even have an exercise program that I plan to use called Turbo Jam), I'm going to read the Big Book of AA, keep chatting with the people on online AA, Keep coming here (I'm quitting smoking today, once and for all...COLD TURKEY!! No more gum to drag this out), and I'm going to work on my stress & anxiety cd program.
I'm actually so excited I could cry LOL. Why didn't I do this years ago?? I guess what matters most is that I am doing it now. Sure, I'm a little scared, but I am going to calm that fear by moving forward and show myself that I can do this. I even filled out an application for DVR so they can help me find a job that will be right for me!! 🙂
I wanted to say thank you to everyone who commented on my last blog. I really appreciate all of the support!! I certainly needed it. ❤️
