I have been doing pretty well with my quit so far, but I am still worried that the worst of urges will be arriving in the next couple of days.
Day 4 was a big test for me. As a smoker, my Thursday nights involved:
1.working until 10:30pm then having a smoke before driving home.
2.Smoke 2 or 3 cigarettes while en route to a friend's apartment for our weekly hang-out
3. Smoke half a pack of cigarettes while hanging out at this apartment.
I didn't want to miss out on my weekly catch-up with friends, but I was afraid of the difficult task of resisting the desire to smoke while being with friends. Instead of rationalizing that I could smoke that one night and restart my quit the next day, I stopped at Wendy's for a strawberry milkshake. What a wonderful treat!!!!
When I got to this apartment, my husband greeted me at the door and when we kissed hello, I could taste cigarettes on his mouth! He had one cigarette before I arrived (he doesn't smoke regularly by any means) and it made his mouth taste so gross! After tasting a delicious strawberry milkshake, the taste of a cigarette on his mouth really made my stomach turn. I realized immediately that I had always tasted like a nasty cigarette to him, 6 years of tasting like that when he kissed me. I apologized to him for all the times I tasted like an ashtray.
Once I was in the apartment, I continued drinking my milkshake and caught up with my friends. Some of them lit up, but it didn't bother me. A small part of me wanted to smoke too, but I told myself no and left it at that. My first night as an exsmoker among my friends was a success!!!
Day 5 was a little tough for me. It was my day off and I found myself feeling lost about what to do with myself. As a smoker, I spent my days off sitting on my patio, puffing away. To keep myself occupied, I cleaned up my home, went to Target to buy some household supplies, took a nap, then met up with a friend for dinner. I had a big rack of smoked ribs with rice and a salad for dinner! It was delicious! My full stomach triggered a craving for a cigarette, but I resisted. I went home, ate some sorbet, and called my mother in-law. We had a long, wonderful conversation.:)
I am excited to be on my 6th day as an ex-smoker. 🙂
