Back to Work

[laney4]

Someone asked me a few days back "when are you gonna blog, you've earned the right to blog."  HA.  Here's my first.

Like most of the successful quitters I have spoke with and read about here on EX, I did my planning and scheming prior to my quit date (originally scheduled for 1/1/10 but that didn't happen).  I have wanted to quit soooo many times but  you see, I am a stress failure, not my own life stresses but from the stresses brought onto me by other people's stresses.  It's like osmosis.  Lately their stresses envelop my emotional self before I can say jack flash.

One of those major contributing stress evolutions come from work -- the same career I've had over the past 30 years -- nothing new -- so it doesn't come from the work directly, but it comes from those around me that stress over their own lack of preparation, lack of planning and lack of organization.  And, because my self had become more vunerable from bad eating habits, SMOKING, and generally not taking care of me, the stress had been able to trickle right down my spine!

Another contributing stress factor has been the change of my work schedule over the past year..  After 30 years of Mon-Fri, 9-5, and to avoid a layoff, I went to evening shift (and I'm a morning person) 4 days a week, Wed-Sat, basically 10 hour days -- giving up my Friday nights and Saturdays and much of the social life I had remaining -- basically life changes that I didn't want to change.

Needless to say, I knew I needed to make sure I was away from that stress or my chances would be slim to none (as in past attempts).  I have had two weeks off to help in my quest. (I'll say it took the first week to calm myself back down from the office turmoils and hence my failure to stop on 1/1/10.)  All this while I have told myself over and over again that I would not allow their stresses to again become my own.  (The mind is very powerful so I'm using it as much as possible.)

Tomorrow is my back to work day. Last night I had vivid dreams about my upcoming return so it has been on my mind.  My time away has helped prepare me for what lies ahead tomorrow and I've gotten strength and resolve from all the posters  here on EX.  I need to say thanks for that. 

I need loads of encouraging words, thoughts, suggestions and I'm sure I'll be logging on tomorrow evening to stay in touch and keep me focused.

Elaine

[smp101]

Hey Laney, thanks for letting us know whats going on with you. Yesterday was my first real day trying to work while I was quitting or trying to quit while I was working. To me quitting was the more important one. I found a lot of times when I would usually go have a smoke to deal with stuff that I still got up and expected to go have a smoke and then I would remember that I quit. oops, fine something else to do. I work from home most of the time and I have a very limited attention span, so I pace around in circles and then just go back to work. I'm sure you will be able to handle things, it sounds like you have done a great job of setting yourself up to suceed.

I will still look forward to your responses to my blogs even if they are later in the day.

Thanks for being here and for your support

[drea4]

hey laney,

hope you day goes well tomorrow. i'll be sending you good "vibes".  let us know how it goes:)

drea

[pir8fan]

WOW!!!!  A lot there I did not expect! You told me a lot that I did not know. Please allow me to tell you a few things I do know!

You are a very good person! You are probably to nice for your own good. Other peoples stresses are not yours. You have no right to them. You should not adopt them!!

You must be able to look someone in the eye and tell them " Poor planning on your part does not constitute an emergency on my part". You can not do everybody's job. Sure, you help people where you can. Some people will take every thing you will give and give nothing in return. You have to take care of you or you will have nothing for anyone else.

Go to work and do what you are supposed to do, and return to us, the people that care about you. You have friends here who will support you. As you sail through life everyone you meet is either a sail or an anchor. Collect all the sails that you can and cut loose all the anchors. I am here for you. Just yell. Tommy

[ohiosheltielady]

Who would have told you that?!  ha ha ha ha  Yes I believe that you earned the right to blog!  And I see you wrote a beautiful blog full of thoughts and feelings and a little worry.  Don't worry.  Believe in yourself and in your ability to deal with whatever situation comes to you. 

Envision yourself as everything you want to be without the cigarettes leading you around.  Envision yourself as a leader, as a wise one who knows what to do, as a patient person who will eventually search out the answer, as a problem-solver, as a parent to a child, as a zen master, as a teacher, as a counselor, as a hero.  You are all of this and more to yourself.  But smoking had a way of stripping these roles from us and replacing them with a miserable addictive habit that destroys us. 

Anyhow, regarding panic at work .. "poor planning on your part does not constitute an emergency on my part."  ha ha ha ha  Keep a bunch of sticky notes nearby and when you are confronted with a poor planner, write that on a sticky note and hand it to them.  ha ha ha ha ha ha ha   I know, I know, I know, not in the real world, but it's it a great thought!   ha ha ha ha ha

[ohiosheltielady]

ps ... I like it when you blog!  you should do this more often!  ha ha ha ha ha ha

And HEY!!  You are past that dreadful week one already!!!!

[laney4]

What a difference mind over matter can make... well, with a little help from a new standard of living and my Ex buddies.  Work wasn't the expectation of dread I expected and many people would love to have my job.  So.... stay the course Laney, as with all EXers, and REMEMBER everything, truly everything gets better as you get better.

[judy41]

I thought that rubber band thing sounded ridiculous, but it has saved my bacon several times.  Immediately

redirects your thoughts.  Blog away girlfriend - you are doing great!