Dear Mary,
I hate you. I don’t want to say that you have ruined my life, but I hate what I have become with you here. It’s not fair that I do not have control of my own body or brain anymore. I am consumed by you. There was a time when you did not exist, so why can’t I remember it anymore?
I am nervous of the future. It sucks to say that I don’t even think about it when I vape. I guess I have more questions than I do answers and I do not like living like this. I want to be free.
I am nervous because I feel like life is just going to get so much harder. I don’t always know or believe in myself to do hard things. How the fuck am I supposed to just think that I am able to achieve this, one of the hardest things a person can do?
So, this is goodbye. This is me trying, hopefully for the last time. I have a plan this time and a buddy. She loves me better than you. I hope I can look back at this letter and be proud of myself. I want to be able to say I don’t need you anymore and that I am free.
Thanks for good times, dear friend. I am excited to say I am doing just fine without you.
Love,
Yours
