I find cravings a little harder to deal with as the days/hours go by. I find I am slumping into a small depression as if my first boyfriend just dumped me. HA! I wake up in the middle of the night searching for the smokes. Thank God I remember before I light one up that I quit 3 Days ago! This is tough! No one said it would be easy. I realize it only gets easier. I am just at the angry point. I think I am angry at me for letting this all happen. I feel this knawing feeling in the pit of my stomach that doesnt go away. Like someone has just ran thier fingernails down a chalkboard. UGH!
I do not have the best of support systems at home. Believe me dh means well, he doesnt want to see me in pain; however, offering me up a smoke makes it all the more difficult for me. He leaves packs upon packs of smokes all over the house--opened and unopened. I supposed this will only make me stronger. Ya know! I just cringe at it all. It feels like my head is swimming. 🙂 He says I am being mean, its only the way I feel at this time. The only thing I can seem to do is breathe and stare out the window...sometimes I cry.
I have my buddies here and my blog to let it out on and I hope I see inspiring comments on it to make me feel better. I know from experiance as the days go my pain..this too shall pass...But for now it is so real to me that statement means very little.
My daughter said she would run a mile for every day I stayed smoke free. I just let her in on the secret I quit smoking so she owes me 3 for now. LOL
Thanks for letting me share,
Cris
